Every once in a while a star comes out and becomes the darling of everyone’s eye. Lupita Nyong’o, Eartha Kitt, Cate Blanchett, Cardi B, Jeff Goldblum, and Tiffany Haddish are among those darlings. They have a certain je ne sais quoi that makes you wanna watch them do anything and everything. Even the movies we consider cult classics would be endlessly more entertaining if you shot them with one of these darlings. These are some movies that I think would be better if Tiffany Haddish replaced the main characters.
1. Fast and Furious
I have never seen this franchise, but I know for a fact if Tiffany Haddish replaced Bruce Willis it would be absolutely bananas. I don’t know a single detail about this movie, but I can just picture Tiffany Haddish shifting gears while wearing a white tank top, hitting turbo speed, and lifting a girl onto the hood of a car after she wins. She loses a race, pulls out a gun on the guy who beat her, and they kiss passionately. That’s basically the movie, right?
2. Harry Potter
This one would be absolutely wild. We could all use a reason to distance ourselves from J. K. Rowling, while still adopting the messages of revolt against classism and racism from the Harry Potter series. If I were to direct Harry Potter, I would replace any single one of the characters with Tiffany Haddish. Tiffany as Harry. Tiffany as Malfoy. Tiffany as Hagrid. Tiffany as Voldemort. Tiffany as Dobby. Tiffany as that giant snake. Absolutely nuts.
3. Home Alone
I know you just pictured Tiffany Haddish doing the “:0” face and that it was perfection. Tiffany Haddish was born to throw a bucket of marbles onto the floor in front of some burglars to make them slip and slide around. Or, Tiffany Haddish as one of the Stooge-y burglars??? Pure genius.
4. Fifty First Dates
I think we can admit that any Adam Sandler movie would be better if we replaced Adam Sandler with Tiffany Haddish. Even “Uncut Gems.” Actually, especially “Uncut Gems.” “Fifty First Dates” would be one of the most incredible swaps specifically for the flirting and falling in love with Drew Barrymore. Yes, I’m gay.
5. Bruce Almighty
Oh god, I wish I had the powers to make this happen. I mean, could you imagine? Tiffany Haddish as…Bruce ALMIGHTY. Tiffany Haddish with the powers of God. Tiffany Haddish…hearing our pRAYERS. And c’mon, that scene where Cameron Diaz comes out with big boobs and Tiffany Haddish would say the phrase “breastfast” instead of “breakfast?” Please, Hollywood, if you’re reading this: make it happen.
Images:
The Cut via Rich Polk/E! Entertainment/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images
