5 Renovation Projects to Fantasize About Because Home Ownership is Not in the Cards, Hun

If you owned a home, now would be a great time to really invest in your space and spruce it up. The warm weather makes a big task like this feel so much more manageable, and maybe if you put in the work now, you could reap the benefits of your hard work once distancing guidelines safely lift. This is all entirely theoretical, of course, because the odds of you being able to afford a home are truly zilch at this point! Not your fault, queen—simply a byproduct of the truly terrible times we’re living in! 

1. Fix up your entryway

Always wanted a pink front door? How about planters on your stoop? You could even do a vintage letterbox! The potential quaintness factor is limitless. Too bad you share a front door with like seventy other renters and it leads into a drab, corporate-looking lobby where half the elevators are always inexplicably broken. 

2. Turn your bathroom from low key to luxury

The bathroom is where you start and end your routine every day. Why would you settle for a look that doesn’t make you feel pampered and relaxed? Oh that’s right, because it’s written in your lease that you’re not allowed to make any changes to the integrity of your unit. That means the boilerplate design aimed at the imaginary “average renter” must stay even though it pleases literally no one. Enjoy the beige everything, honey! 

3. Finish your basement 

Ha ha ha ha imagine having a basement. What would that even feel like??!?! In your actual life, though, the basement is simply the communal underground laundry room where you schlep your hamper down four flights of stairs only to realize you forgot your quarters. You have no control over this space. This space is your purgatory. 

4. Plant a vegetable garden

This works best if you have a wide, flat swath of land, ideally with partial shade cover so that your various seeds can each have the correct amount of sunlight. But let’s be real, the lot your entire apartment building is on is perhaps 1/8 that size, tops. You do not own a single clump of dirt, let alone a whole ass yard full of it. Just keep eating those creepy-long Trader Joe’s cucumbers and call it a day, I guess.

5. Repaint your kitchen cabinets

Painting your cabinets is a cost-effective way to totally transform your kitchen space and trick the eye into the appearance of more square footage. Wow, why am I still trying to save money even in this hypothetical scenario that will never happen? Why is being thrifty so ingrained into everything I say? Being a millennial is…sad! 

And there you have it! Some lovely home reno projects to make you get wet at the mere idea of maintaining a fictional home that will never be yours. 

Image: The Motley Fool


Mary Gulino
Author: Mary Gulino
Mary is an LA-based writer from New Jersey whose work can be seen online and on TV (unless you count streaming platforms as online, in which case, it's all online). She got glasses when she was two, and would love to talk optometry sometime.