If there is one thing we learned during this pandemic, it is that binge-watching Netflix can be remarkably life-affirming. Before we only binge watched when we were depressed, now we just do it because why not. Remember watching an episode of a show and then waiting a whole week to watch the next one? That’s how I watched Friends. I actually watched it as it was released. Ridiculous, right? Thank God those dark medieval days of the early 2000s are over. Now we just block out 37 hours and hit play. I do feel Netflix should add occasional PSA messages like “Have you drank water in the past 6 hours?” or “Are you sure your children are safe?”
The Crown season 4 is the perfect binger! In 10 hours it is done. We just call that Tuesday. Don’t worry – there will be no spoilers in this article. It is history, folks. It can’t be a spoiler when it is based on fact. However, the British Royal Family want Netflix to add a label to the show to remind people that it is fiction. We know it is. We may be uncouth civilians, but we know how Netflix works. Yes, ma’am.
The real Prince Charles pretty much gave the game away when he famously said, “Whatever ‘in love’ means” on the evening of his engagement to Lady Diana Spencer. Whatever in love means? To most of us it means butterflies in our stomachs and starry eyes in our heads, but it is possibly a different experience if that stomach is filled with whatever royal folks eat and the head has a crown on it. But we do know he really did say those words. It doesn’t get much more unromantic than that. Prince Charles is so unromantic that his idea of foreplay probably is, “You awake?” passed to his lover on a note typed up by a butler. Who knows. Sexy it is not.
Faced with such blatant evidence that the guy is a heartless dork, and based on much proof that he and his mistress Camilla never stopped having an affair, the writers of The Crown went to town with that storyline. Sure, they embellished a little. Probably the most unbelievable part of the Charles-Diana story is that he actually drove one of those cool little convertible cars. Snazzy sporty vehicle, sure. But in England? The average rainfall in England must be ~623 feet per year. They don’t even bother with inches. And speaking of inches – well, in the famous and entirely fictitious words of Prince Charles: please, let’s not talk about size.
No royals were harmed in the writing of this article.
