AOC Is 30 and Takes Down White Male Congressmen, I’m 30 and Still Afraid of the Dark

We all saw it go viral, as we sat in our seats internally screaming, “YASSSSS!!”
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, more often known as the legendary AOC, absolutely annihilated Representative Ted Yoho after he cowardly accosted her, using absolutely unacceptable and hateful language, which we (and her) are too classy to repeat for you right now.
Now, that lady has got it together. Intelligent, driven, kind-hearted, and bold at all the right moments. She has established herself as the baddest bitch around, and even after facing insurmountable sexism, racism, and belittling from white men in politics, she still stands her ground and endlessly fights for her constituents and the bettering of our country and world. Let’s not lie to ourselves and say we don’t want to be her.
But, here’s where it gets tricky. I see her killing it out there; me, the same age, having barely gotten my shit together. I mean, damn, I still drink too much on Saturday nights, put off doing laundry, make up lies so that I can stay in and avoid being social, and the worst of it all? I hate the dark. I mean, I really do. What liar of an adult told me as a child that there’s nothing to fear when the lights are out? I walk into my apartment, and lunge towards the light switch, high key worried that Hannibal Lecter is chillin’ in my kitchen.
It’s clear I have some work to do. So what does that mean? I must immediately stalk her Instagram and mirror her behavior, as any wise millennial would do. After all, if she’s achieved this much in thirty years, I better step my game up, because who even knows how kickass she’ll be by the time we’re thirty-five. Guess it’s time to turn off reruns of the Bachelor, and watch a little more PBS NewsHour. I mean, just as long as I can finish this old season real quick.
Anna Snapp
Author: Anna Snapp
Anna is a Brooklyn-based actor and writer, trying to figure which is more important to her: taking down the men on dating apps who refer to themselves as "humble", or watching enough terrible reality TV to officially lessen her value. Anna believes in progressive politics, Dua Lipa, and mediocre boxes of Sauvignon Blanc.