Recent Posts
Are You Ugly or Hot? We Asked Tim, a 19-Year-Old From Maryland
The pervasive cultural woes of self doubt and insecurity have plagued womankind for far too long. Am I ugly, or am I hot? We’ve all…
Conservative Cousin Will Have to “Pray on That”
Bethany Ann Beth-Anne Annabeth Smith, a lifelong conservative and professional cousin, has announced plans to “pray on that,” in response to literally every issue she…
Man Caught Leaving His House in Grey Sweatpants Swears He Wasn’t Asking For It
Jordy Peterson left his house last Sunday morning for a seemingly innocent trip to the grocery store. Little did he know, wearing grey sweatpants to…
Happy Last Week of Pride From Corporate Copywriters Everywhere; Yes, Diva!
It’s the end of Pride Month, bitches! You know what that means: inappropriate and appropriative copywriting from corporations and their verified corporate accounts. You wanna…
This Just In! Special K Replaces Ingredients with Recycled Cardboard to Improve Taste
One local Twitter user’s seemingly simple choice led to a dramatic change. At 2:00 P.M. on January 2nd, Brittany Gray, username BritG, created a public…
5 Zillow Listings That Say “Wow That Run Down Shack Really IS Worth Half a Million”
5. Charming Quonset Hut! This enchanting Quonset hut on .0007 acres of land is a darling little sweetheart of an opportunity for first-time homeowners….
Breaking News! Woman Who Graduated Three Years Ago Still Refers to Self as “Recent College Grad” in Cover Letters
It’s a story that’s rocking the nation. Local woman Irma Splunk, 24, graduated from a stupid university three years ago. Yet she continues to flagrantly…
New Diet Trend Recommends Removing All Your Teeth To Prevent Eating, You Fat Piece of Shit
Hey ladies, we all know how important it is to attain that sexy, smoking hot beach bod for summertime. You may be feeling hopeless, lost…
Looking For a Funky Spring Centerpiece? Keep Looking, I’m Not Doing That Shit
Spring has sprung and blessed us with added daylight hours, baby animals, and poisonous plant semen also known as pollen choking our lungs and wetting…
New Mom Realizes Her Baby is A Lot Like Everyone in High School Drama Club
THE LOUDEST ONE WINS No microphones necessary (or available). The one who can project best always gets the last word/the role of Tevye. TRADITION! TEARS…