Now Hiring! CDC Seeking Creative Writers to Make Up New Covid Variant Names
Needed at the CDC: Creative Writers to Name New Covid Variants The CDC is here to announce that as we run out of letters of…
“Sharing is Caring” Claims Woman Who Steals All Her Husband’s Clothes
Sharing is caring, right? For me, I say “yes.” For my husband, he says “Did you borrow/use/steal/misplace my (insert object here?)” In no particular order,…
Shocking! Charmin Bears Dead in Non-Toilet Paper Related Accident
By now I’m sure you’ve heard the news. It’s all over all the big channels. Saw it on Facebook nearly as soon as I had…
Woman’s Entire Mood Destroyed By the Status of Her Store-Bought Spinach
Amanda Pyle woke up on Monday with a new lease on life. She had decided this was the week she was going to supercharge her…
Happy New Year From Your Elderly Childhood Pet
Happy Holidays! And welcome home, it’s me, your elderly pet! So glad to have you back home for a few days. I should probably update…
What to Wear in Order to Upstage Everyone at Your Family Holiday Party
As the snow begins to fall and the chestnuts roast, one thing becomes increasingly clear: the holiday season is officially here! You know what that…
Help, I’ve Been Lost Inside This Really Big TJ Maxx For Four Days
If you’re reading this, you are my last hope. I have been trapped within the labyrinthine walls of a giant TJ Maxx for four days….
Girl Who Used to Act in High School Wants Everyone to Know: She Still Can
Anyone who’s done high school theater knows of its particular joys and of course, dramas. The musty smell of old costumes soiled with thirty years…
How to Make the Birth of Someone Else’s Child About You
It’s happened to all of us: someone you know has a baby, thereby diverting attention that should always be going to you to an infant….
Woman Who Can’t Keep a Rock Alive Turns to Plants
Inspired by days spent scrolling Tik Tok, Gina Helm, 32, took up a few new hobbies during the great quarantine(s) of 2020 and 2021. She…