Woman Gets Burner Phone So She Can FaceTime With Herself
Clarissa Guzman has been feely particularly lonely this past month. Logically, she knew everyone was going through an equally tough time in isolation, but she…
I Never Thought I’d be Flicking it to NY Press Briefings But Here We Are
Quarantine has brought a lot of problematic things to the surface. I’m not talking about our lack of infrastructure, adequate healthcare and social welfare systems…
I’m Not a Regular Karen, I’m a Karen with an Undercut
Look me up and down. Really take me in. Ice-blonde bob and all. What words come to mind? PTA Meeting? Neighbor who calls the cops?…
“You’re Not Fat, You’re Beautiful,” Best Friend Says After Completely Missing the Point
It’s 8 o’clock on a Friday night. You’re getting ready to go to the bars in town with your ride-or-die BFF, and it’s happening. You…
Help! My Boyfriend Calls Every Dog He Sees A “Bitch”
Dear Maya, I love my boyfriend. He’s super cuddly, and he’s always so excited to see me when I come by his place. Unfortunately, he’s…
I Started a Technology Detox and Wound Up Amish
I am currently a viral Zoom sensation. I had to use the little girl’s room so I turned off my video and volume, but Zoom…
BREAKING: High School Bully A Life Coach Now
According to her recent social media status updates, Kerrie Kennedy—the girl who made you cry on no fewer than 10 occasions between grades 9-12—is now…
All the Bad Things You Do To Your Body That Green Smoothies Will Totally Fix
Turns out a smoothie that is mostly dairy and sugar, in order to mask the taste of kale, is a magical elixir that can reverse…
This Was Not What I Meant When I Barked Every Time You Left: A Dog’s View of Quarantine
Listen, I know what I said. I told you over and over again how much I wanted you to stay home. At times it was…
“Here’s What You Should’ve Done” A One Sided Conversation With a Male Open Micer
First of all, usually women have to be ugly or fat, or both, to be funny…but you actually have punchlines so good job. I’m actually…
