10/10 Moms Agree Your Minor Cough Definitely Got Them Sick
If you sneeze and your mom isn’t around to hear it, will you still be blamed for getting her sick? Every day, millions of Americans…
A Gourmet Recipe That Definitely Isn’t Just Veggies in a Sauté Pan
Ingredients: 1 cup of optimism 2 tablespoons of determination Garlic, too much 1 heaping palmful of fear (social media induced is best, but familial based…
Wikipedia Adds “Problematic Shit” Section to All Celebrity Bios
In the age of cancel culture and the #MeToo movement, it can be hard to keep track of which celebrities you’re allowed to like on…
Local Woman Has Nothing Against Football, Just Doesn’t Like the Noise
The following op-ed is brought to you by local Connecticut woman, Linda Rosenbloom. Who doesn’t love football? I too, intimately know the pure thrill of…
Party Pooper: I Had a Baby and Forgot How to Behave at Social Functions
I’ve always been good at parties. Though, I do experience panic when I realize I know no one there, there’s no alcohol and it’s shoes…
EXCLUSIVE: Bob Iger Talks Zootopia Live-Action Remake
Following the roaring success of their Lion King remake, Disney has announced that they will begin filming a live-action version of Zootopia in the spring…
Woman Banned From Grocery Store for Bullying the Virgin Olive Oil
A woman was forcibly ejected from Piggly Wiggly in Milwaukee early Saturday morning after harassing a bottle of extra virgin olive oil. “So there I…
What I Should’ve Submitted: A Millennial Cover Letter
To the assistant of the person I actually expected would be reading this email, I hope you’re having a great freakin’ day being employed! I,…
Woman Who Picked Up Litter as a Kid Resentful of Greta Thunberg
Greta Thunberg has recently been credited with bringing the environmental crisis to the forefront of political discussion. However, according to Cassie Hendricks, Thunberg should be…
Blanket Scarves and Fashion’s Other Answers for Social Anxiety
Look hot, and not just because you’re nervous sweating. Blanket Scarves Adorable AND advantageous. Not feeling the small talk at your best friend’s flannel themed…