Stop Pretending: Hoodies Are Basically Just Cloaks
Hoodies, love ‘em or hate ‘em, you can’t escape ‘em. Odds are you, yes you, own a hoodie. You might even be wearing it right…
How to Pump Up Your Life on Social Media So People Don’t Know You’re Drowning in Credit Card Debt
An important part of your everyday is making sure your life looks more fabulous and adventurous than your friends on Instagram, because apparently that’s how…
5 Spices That Think Pumpkin Should Sit This Autumn Out
Zip my vest and lint roll my leggings, autumn is here! As we begin this annual celebration of all things crockpot, we kindly ask you…
Join the Wedding DJ Union, It’s an Offer You Can’t Refuse
Thank you for coming to the back alley. Discretion is key in this way of life. When you’re the head of the snake, it puts…
Girl Drowns Upon Realizing Jesus Sandals Don’t Make You Walk on Water
An 18-year-old Florida girl was pulled from the ocean yesterday, following an unexpected plunge at her parents’ beach house. Hannah Smith was enjoying a weekend…
The 5 Stages of Being a Plant Mom
Stage One: Desire You want to give love and affection to another living thing, but you’re single and allergic to cats so the logical option…
Woman Pays $1,000,000 Ransom for Cafe’s Elusive Wifi Password
Area woman Claire Khan was a first-time patron at George’s Café, an unassuming corner spot that specializes in vegan fare and uncomfortable metal seating, when…
The Rumble of the Train Shaking My Love Handles is the Most Intimately I’ve Been Touched in Months
Some folks take the train to get to work. Others ride the tracks to and from their favorite bar. But for me, the train reminds…
Why You Shouldn’t Date Your Dog Even Though You’d Really Prefer It
She’s a great snuggler, always letting you choose which spoon you want to be. She doesn’t shirk back at the thought of PDA. Her adventurous…
You Can Open that Jar Yourself! A Guide to Being an Independent Woman
You fancy yourself a strong, self-sufficient individual. You pay your bills, you go to yoga, you’re thinking of getting a house plant. You’re killing it!…
