Author: Mary Gulino

Mary is an LA-based writer from New Jersey whose work can be seen online and on TV (unless you count streaming platforms as online, in which case, it's all online). She got glasses when she was two, and would love to talk optometry sometime.
Posted in EW MEN LIFESTYLE LOVE

The Instacart Delivery Guy’s Direct Eye Contact Means He Wants to Marry Me, Right?

The simplest answer is often the best answer, right? Well after much deductive reasoning, I’ve come to the straightforward conclusion that the Instacart guy who…

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Posted in LIFESTYLE

Woman Gets Burner Phone So She Can FaceTime With Herself

Clarissa Guzman has been feely particularly lonely this past month. Logically, she knew everyone was going through an equally tough time in isolation, but she…

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Posted in LIFESTYLE NEWS

BREAKING: High School Bully A Life Coach Now

According to her recent social media status updates, Kerrie Kennedy—the girl who made you cry on no fewer than 10 occasions between grades 9-12—is now…

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Posted in NEWS

Weird! All of NYC Gave Up Shopping, Work and Public Transit for Lent This Year

Even though New York City is only about one-third Catholic, apparently all of its inhabitants have fully committed to the Lenten season this year, as…

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Posted in LIFESTYLE MONEY MOVES

This Woman is Smiling Because She Hasn’t Checked Her Credit Score in Five Years

You may be wondering why Fiona can’t stop grinning. Why the twinkle in her eye? Surely that’s the face of a woman who has her…

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Posted in LIFESTYLE

I Would Never Call a Woman a Bitch, Unless She Steals My Good Pen

My feminism is an important aspect of who I am. I am proud that my words and actions reflect my commitment to equality for all…

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Posted in LIFESTYLE

How to Complain About Being the Only Woman in Your Workplace Even Though You’re Self-Employed

Representation matters. As we roll into a new decade with new possibility, it’s important that women everywhere advocate for themselves and their voices—especially in the…

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Posted in FOOD LIFESTYLE

Wow! This Woman Drinks 8 Cups of Water a Day and She’s Still Sad!

Doctors recommend that adults drink half a gallon of water per day for optimal hydration. The health benefits of staying adequately hydrated are manifold—it boosts…

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Posted in LIFESTYLE NEWS

BREAKING: Barista Wants You to Go Fuck Yourself

According to witnesses, the barista at your local indie café wants you to get the hell out of his face. He can tell that you…

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Posted in FOOD LIFESTYLE MONEY MOVES

I Saved Hundreds Last Year By Making All My Coffee at Home and Not Once Leaving the House

The average millennial spends around $2,000 a year on coffee. When I found this out, I was floored! That’s a lot of money. And I,…

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