Author: Tricia D'Onofrio

Tricia D'Onofrio is a comedian and writer from Connecticut, but not the tennis part. She has determined that 2020 will be her year, despite all signs pointing to the opposite. She always believed herself to be a unique individual, but it turns out she's just a textbook Sagittarius.
Posted in LIFESTYLE

Rock You Brought Home From The Beach Thinks Your Apartment is a Downgrade

There I was, sunning myself on the sand… when this giant, greedy woman snatched me up and threw me in a bucket. I know I’m…

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Posted in FOOD LIFESTYLE

Woman Returns to Work For One Day, Already Stole Coworker’s Yogurt

Shanley Fitzpatrick has recently returned to work at a mid-size insurance company. “It felt a little odd to come back to work in person again…

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Posted in EW MEN LIFESTYLE NEWS

Local Groomzilla Devastated About Postponed Wedding After He Booked Only the Band

Local man Andre Vespo is in a state of disbelief after his wedding was postponed, due to the virus. “I had to stop playing my…

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Posted in LIFESTYLE

Laid Off Workaholic Struggles to Push Herself to The Brink of Exhaustion Lately

Workaholic. Busy Bee. Workhorse. I love being able to do it all. Besides, it’s not that much, really. I just work a full-time job, teach…

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Posted in NEWS

Coronavirus Overstays Its Welcome Crashing On America’s Couch

America here. I’m in a bit of a pickle. Long story short, I got involved with this virus who insisted he just needed a place…

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Posted in POLITICS

US Congress Thumb Wrestles Over Pandemic Aid

Although we’ve had months to get this figured out before the extra pandemic pay expired, we just couldn’t get our act together. That’s our bad….

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Posted in LIFESTYLE

Middle Aged Car Regrets Bumper Sticker From Youth

I got started with with a tribute to my grandma, who died in a bad accident with an 18 wheeler. After we paid our respects,…

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Posted in LIFESTYLE

Generic Woman With Generic Name Complains About Being Forgotten

Christina feels forgettable. She has evidence of this. Sometimes someone will smile at her and sincerely say, “It was so nice to meet you.” She…

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Posted in EW MEN LIFESTYLE

Is It Just Me or Is Grandpa’s Vow Renewal Coming off as a Little Desperate?

Listen gramps, I just want to start by saying, You totally should live your best life….but I have to say that this whole vow renewal…

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Posted in LIFESTYLE NEWS

Brain Goes on Strike Until Demands of Basic Self-Care Are Met

The representatives from the Brain Union have declared that they are going to go on strike until their demands of basic self-care and nutrition are…

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