It’s the weekend and you’ve wandered into a large crowd of people surrounded by handmade signs. The lettering is impressive, but the snacks are just okay. Are you in the middle of a protest, or just a busy Trader Joe’s? Look around for clues to figure out where you might be.
Are you surrounded by hand-drawn signs with bright colors and clever puns?
That could go either way, but if most of the signs have prices, old-timey bicycles, and look to be lettered by an in-house artist, then you’re probably at Trader Joe’s. If the signs have political messages and people are holding them, then you’re at a protest.
Can you tell people are smiling under their masks?
You’re at Trader Joe’s, not a protest. While there are friendly faces at protests and you should meet-up with friends rather than go solo, no one there is getting paid a livable wage to smize at you like they are at Trader Joe’s
Is someone passing out free coffee and snacks?
You’re at a protest, not Trader Joe’s. The demo station used to be the best part of the shopping experience, but Trader Joe’s stopped providing food or beverage samples out of precaution until further notice. Meanwhile Generation Xer’s show up to demonstrations with fresh-baked sourdough and a thermos of apple cider to share.
Is the person in front of you holding a gallon of milk?
You’re at a protest, not Trader Joe’s. Protesters use cow’s milk to flush out people’s eyes when they’ve been exposed to tear gas. Trader Joe’s does sell milk of course, but you’ll never see a die-hard customer buying anything that came out of an udder.
Are people carrying canvas and other reusable bags?
You’re at a protest, not Trader Joe’s. While they appreciate reusable bags, Trader Joe’s currently has a ban on them to reduce the spread of germs. If the bags are full of supplies like bottled water and a first aid kit, then you’re at a protest.
Are people making small talk with you?
You could be either place. If most of the conversation centers around human rights and civic issues, you’re probably at a protest. If they’re wearing a Hawaiian shirt and talking about recalled cookie butter, then it’s most likely a Trader Joe’s employee. You could still be at a protest, but it’s looking more like you’re at the checkout.
Can you see grocery carts?
You could be anywhere, Trader Joe’s or walking the streets. If there is a bouquet of flowers and cinnamon broom inside the cart then you’re at Trader Joe’s. If the cart is on fire and being thrown through a window, please get yourself somewhere safe like Trader Joe’s.
