Reporters have been outside Broadway Comedy Club for hours, trying to get a lead on the story that has been not surprising to viewers nationwide. According to our sources on the inside, a basic white man is currently performing what he describes as a “comedy set.” The genre of comedy has yet to be seen and heard, but we are keeping a close eye and ear on the action to see if this bro can wow us like no bro has wowed us before.
So far, his “jokes” have covered his conquests on Tinder, getting obliterated with his friends from Penn State ten years ago, and cringe-worthy wordplay with “vagina” and “Olive Garden’s unlimited breadsticks.” To be completely transparent with you folks: things aren’t looking good.
Shayna, who is on the scene, says there is talk about shutting his set down before he starts bragging about how he’s never been arrested for smoking weed, even though he’s offered multiple cops a hit. Sorry, white dude, you’re not getting a pat on the back for that.
At the end of the day, what can we do? Basic white men have been taking over for as long as we can remember, and somehow think they are true comedic geniuses. What’s more disturbing, is that none of us ever tell them to their face just how below average their humor is.
Now folks, here’s where I need you with me. Let’s make a pact; a pact to be vocal with these bros—not just for our own sanity, but for the generation of white bros coming up behind us who need to know that they’re the ones who should work even harder to impress the world.
You know about the pregnancy pact? This is the exact same thing, except with this, instead of growing babies inside us in solidarity, we are growing the strength and courage to speak out against these atrocities. Too far? Maybe. Necessary? You bet your asses.
