Category: LIFESTYLE
Conservative Cousin Will Have to “Pray on That”
Bethany Ann Beth-Anne Annabeth Smith, a lifelong conservative and professional cousin, has announced plans to “pray on that,” in response to literally every issue she…
Breaking News! Woman Who Graduated Three Years Ago Still Refers to Self as “Recent College Grad” in Cover Letters
It’s a story that’s rocking the nation. Local woman Irma Splunk, 24, graduated from a stupid university three years ago. Yet she continues to flagrantly…
Looking For a Funky Spring Centerpiece? Keep Looking, I’m Not Doing That Shit
Spring has sprung and blessed us with added daylight hours, baby animals, and poisonous plant semen also known as pollen choking our lungs and wetting…
New Mom Realizes Her Baby is A Lot Like Everyone in High School Drama Club
THE LOUDEST ONE WINS No microphones necessary (or available). The one who can project best always gets the last word/the role of Tevye. TRADITION! TEARS…
This Just In! Studies Show Spending $60 a Day Will Keep You From Getting Bored and Freaking Out
Spending $60 a day: one of many surefire ways to keep you from becoming mentally “unwell.” Whether it’s due to boredom, genuine need, or just…
What Does Your Wordle Score (And Where You Post It) Say About You?
It is fair to say that the new word game has taken the world by storm. Whether it’s the utter frustration of the once-a-day-only ability…
Sun Stays Out Five Minutes Later in Rare Act of Kindness
In an act of mercy seldom recorded, the sun decided to shine its rays yet another five minutes before casually disappearing beneath the horizon this…
New Fitbit Owner Devastated to Find Out How Far 10,000 Steps Actually Is
My partner bought me a Fitbit for Christmas, knowing I had been thinking it would be good to start getting some exercise in. New Year’s…
Therapist Warns “Stop Being Dysfunctional or You’ll End Up On TLC”
The Learning Channel: where America turns in times of trouble. It seems like every season TLC adds yet another messy family to the mix, and…
“Sharing is Caring” Claims Woman Who Steals All Her Husband’s Clothes
Sharing is caring, right? For me, I say “yes.” For my husband, he says “Did you borrow/use/steal/misplace my (insert object here?)” In no particular order,…
