Category: NEWS
Inventor of the Phrase “Where’s My Hug?” Granted Nobel Prize for Worst Person
At long last, the eggheads in Sweden have spoken! Retired pharmaceutical representative Tripp Mason, 62, of Stamford, Connecticut will finally be recognized for his achievements…
Woman to Finally Become Happy After Buying One More Soap
Kendra Rahmann has 15 spare bar soaps and 7 dispensers of liquid soap in her bathroom closet. The varieties range from small batch goat’s milk…
Woman Unsure Where Toxic Thoughts End, Toxic Reality Begins
Melanie Soto has been stewing in some really negative energy recently, but she’s having a hard time locating the source. Melanie’s baseline skews a bit…
Middle Aged Man Can’t Believe His Waitress is Seeing Other Tables
I don’t want to be jealous or anything…but my waitress is seeing other tables. When I first started coming to this joint, I was seated…
New Netflix Dating Show is Just 24 Titties in a Fancy House
After the unequivocal success of reality tentpoles like Love is Blind and Too Hot to Handle, Netflix has streamlined their approach for their next reality…
Wow! This Guy Makes Six Figures and Still Has Bad Hair
Some guys have large incomes, and some guys have bad hair. Carson Connors is a man who has both in spades. Carson, who rakes in…
Thousands of Protesters Across The Country Try To Figure Out What Exactly They Are Protesting
Americans rally in the streets from coast-to-coast. Even Ohio and Michigan, two states famous for never getting any action, are getting in on the action….
Dying Grandma Won’t Allow Visitors Because She “Doesn’t Look Hot”
Listen, sweetie, your ma told me you want to go visit nanna… The doctors don’t know yet. They’re doing tests. Tests, lots of tests. Let’s…
BREAKING: High School Bully A Life Coach Now
According to her recent social media status updates, Kerrie Kennedy—the girl who made you cry on no fewer than 10 occasions between grades 9-12—is now…
Weird! All of NYC Gave Up Shopping, Work and Public Transit for Lent This Year
Even though New York City is only about one-third Catholic, apparently all of its inhabitants have fully committed to the Lenten season this year, as…