Category: NEWS
Local Woman Has Nothing Against Football, Just Doesn’t Like the Noise
The following op-ed is brought to you by local Connecticut woman, Linda Rosenbloom. Who doesn’t love football? I too, intimately know the pure thrill of…
EXCLUSIVE: Bob Iger Talks Zootopia Live-Action Remake
Following the roaring success of their Lion King remake, Disney has announced that they will begin filming a live-action version of Zootopia in the spring…
Woman Banned From Grocery Store for Bullying the Virgin Olive Oil
A woman was forcibly ejected from Piggly Wiggly in Milwaukee early Saturday morning after harassing a bottle of extra virgin olive oil. “So there I…
Woman Who Picked Up Litter as a Kid Resentful of Greta Thunberg
Greta Thunberg has recently been credited with bringing the environmental crisis to the forefront of political discussion. However, according to Cassie Hendricks, Thunberg should be…
Join the Wedding DJ Union, It’s an Offer You Can’t Refuse
Thank you for coming to the back alley. Discretion is key in this way of life. When you’re the head of the snake, it puts…
Girl Drowns Upon Realizing Jesus Sandals Don’t Make You Walk on Water
An 18-year-old Florida girl was pulled from the ocean yesterday, following an unexpected plunge at her parents’ beach house. Hannah Smith was enjoying a weekend…
Woman Pays $1,000,000 Ransom for Cafe’s Elusive Wifi Password
Area woman Claire Khan was a first-time patron at George’s Café, an unassuming corner spot that specializes in vegan fare and uncomfortable metal seating, when…
Candle Vies to Be the New “It Girl” on Coffee Table
Woah, she looks like she stepped right out of Coachella, took off her wide brimmed hat and appeared in my life. Clearly, she has “it”’…
8 Wedding Destinations That Will Be Underwater By 2040
You want your wedding day to be an event that people will recall fondly for years to come. A destination wedding is the perfect way…