There was a time when Sweden meant porn, Volvos, Abba, or even saunas. But mainly porn.
Not anymore.
With the rise of the Swedish giant (yes, that was the title of a 1986 porn, but let’s move this conversation into the build-it-yourself kitchen, shall we?) and master of the flatpack, Sweden’s most famous export has undoubtedly become Ikea. If you like low prices and do not mind low self-esteem, Ikea is the place for you!
Here you can spend hours being forced to walk through the minds of Swedish interior designers when all you wanted was a new garlic press and maybe one of those plastic kitchen gadgets you already own 12 of (and you are still not entirely sure what they’re for) and come out realizing where the creators of the Matrix got their inspiration. But forget about cheap furniture, bathroom rugs, and plants that will be dead before you have figured out how to put your new bookcase together, the most important contribution Ikea will make to your life is as a relationship tester.
After wandering through the “home areas” of Ikea, most relationships will be in more pieces than the cute little bedside table you just bought. And why bother? Chances are now that you’re single again you will be moving soon.
This is why local lovebirds J and M decided to tie the knot when after three trips to the do-it-yourself warehouse they were still together.
J reports, “As we were making our way through the bathroom section, I realized that after zero arguments about the need for shower caddies, she truly was the one for me. I went down on one knee, facilitated by those handy little slide-resistant stools they have, and proposed. It was romantic but we had to keep moving as it was Saturday afternoon, and in spite of Covid restrictions, it was crowded (wouldn’t you risk your life for a $7 print of the Empire State Building?), and so she didn’t say yes until we were in the perfect lighting of the candle department.”
“She was able to pick up a bouquet in the plant area, and it turned out the lady who hands out the hand sanitizer is also trained as a minister. So, we were married right there as we were in line for the deli. And the best part: we registered in the marketplace and left carrying wine glasses, chopping boards, a 23-piece cookware set, and a year’s worth of frozen meatballs.”
