Cute! Your Mom is Trying to Remember the Name of that Actor from that Show

Many of us have spent the pandemic locked inside with our families. And with not much else to do but watch television, you’ve probably found yourself guiding your mom through some word association, mispronunciation, and fully made up names as she tries to remember the name of that actor from that one show. 

It starts with a sigh. A featured guest on an episode of Law and Order and your mom has to know, “Who is that lady? Oh, GOD. I know who that is. She was on Everybody Loves Raymond. Who is that? Do you know her name?”

When you don’t know her name, you offer to assist in her Google search.

“She was the actress with the hair, her name was Wilkins? Wiklerson? Wilkinsons? Milk?”

It probably wasn’t, but you can’t tell her that. She’ll never believe you. 

“She was on The View the other day, she was talking about her line of yoga pants for Capricorns. She’s cute, what’s her name? She was on that show, Big Fat Liars.”

You ask if she means Pretty Little Liars. She doesn’t. You ask if she means Big Little Lies. She doesn’t. You ask if she means Lie to Me. She doesn’t.

“No, it was that show Big Fat Liars, or Pretty Old Lies, or Big Ugly Lies, or Pretty Sexy Liars. The one about the moms and they’re in California.”

That’s Big Little Lies, you tell her.

“Well, what did I call it?”

You ask her if she means Nicole Kidman.

“Is she the English one?”

No, she’s Australian. But she doesn’t play an Australian. But she kind of sounds Australian in everything.

“Is she the one married to that guy?”

Well, yes. But you know she’s talking about Reece Witherspoon. You tell her Nicole Kidman is married to Keith Urban.

“Is that Guy Fieri?”

No, it’s Keith Urban. Guy Fieri is a chef, Keith Urban is a country singer and also Australian for some reason, and he’s married to Nicole Kidman.

“I thought Laura Dern was on that show.”

She is. But so is Nicole Kidman. Is Nicole Kidman the woman you were thinking of?

She asks you to look up “Famous actress who was on an episode of Law and Order and a sitcom in the ’90s, blonde hair, really leggy, married to some guy.”

You’re not gonna look that up. You know she’s talking about Nicole Kidman. You show her a picture of Nicole Kidman.

“I don’t like her hair that color,” she tells you.

What are you supposed to do about that? You tell her you don’t think Nicole Kidman had a sitcom in the ’90s. She asks if you if she’s one of the big little liars from the show.

“Was she ever on the Big Bang Theory?”

Probably not. You agree to move on. You’re never gonna figure this out. 

Ten minutes later, a trailer for a Lifetime movie plays. She gasps. “Is that the guy from that thing?”

Callie Webb
Author: Callie Webb
Callie is a comedian, human being, and woman. She has a fondness for George Michael and videos of unlikely animal friendships.