When someone wrongs you, it can be easy to lose your cool and go off. But if you want the situation to go your way, it can actually be more advantageous to keep putting your best foot forward, no matter how counterintuitive it may feel. If you want to always be the bigger person, use this step-by-step approach to kill ‘em with kindness. Or, in the event that kindness doesn’t prove effective, forgo the step-by-step system to kill ‘em with good old-fashioned murder.
1. Keep calm – Okay, so someone just rear-ended your car and says they’re gonna lie to the insurance company to avoid fault? As tempting as it may be to yell right now, summon some patience and take a deep breath. If you kill ‘em with kindness, you might be able to appeal to this person’s sympathetic side. If that doesn’t work, you can always do a murder.
2. Mind your manners – When someone is being rude and does something you don’t agree with, like giving you a hug that you didn’t ask for, and in fact clearly stated that you don’t want, it’s the perfect opportunity to kill ‘em with kindness. Restate your request and sure, use firm language, but keep your “please” and “thank you”s. But remember, this is only one approach. If you need a failsafe, you can always kill ‘em with normal killing.
3. Use the tone of voice you’d want to hear in return – Part of the reason you’re so frustrated at this person right now could be because they’re acting so dismissive of your feelings. Are you being slighted to your face? Is someone talking down to you or using a condescending tone or trying to gaslight you? Sure, you may feel like you’re going insane, but remember, people are social animals, and mimicry is totally a thing we do. So if you use a friendly, constructive tone, maybe the other person will begin to adopt it as well. If they don’t, then maybe killing ‘em with kindness isn’t in the cards right now. Feel free to try killing ‘em with meanness instead.
4. Smile through it – In moments of conflict, little strategies can go a long way in diffusing the tension. Are you currently being let go from your job because you were a whistleblower about internal corruption and now the higher-ups are retaliating? Try smiling through it, and watch your problems disappear. Oh, is this strategy not working? Did you smile with teeth? I should have clarified, with teeth. Still fired? Okay weird. Do what you gotta do, I guess!
