It’s Okay Honey, No One Can Hear Me Screaming Through My Mask Either

So, your best friend has been a little down lately. I mean, who can blame her? Things just…aren’t good, to say the very, very least. You see her in a constant slump. I mean it’s a world pandemic, she lost her job, her boyfriend of three years dumped her after attempting to survive quarantine together, and well, you can’t really blame him for wanting out after four months inside that small apartment with her. She’s your best friend, but she’s a lot. But you really do say that with love!

She calls you up. She needs some “bestie” time. Translation: time for unlimited wine and snacks, topped with the ultimate pity party. You brace yourself. You know she needs you right now, so you’re going to be there for her! You just may need to get ready to dish out all the (absolutely amazing) advice you’ll give (that you’ll never take yourself). Okay, ready.

She sadly strolls into your apartment, Pinot in one hand, Mediterranean Mint Talenti in the other, and plops herself on your couch. You’re ready for her to scream about Justin or being broke, but then she utters the words you weren’t quite expecting.

“No one can understand what I’m saying in this damn mask! I basically have to shout for anyone to hear me, and then that’s just awkward.”

You…weren’t prepared for this? No complaining about not getting laid in months? Or having no money? Or not being able to go to music festivals? This you can handle.

“It’s okay honey, I have to scream through my mask too.”

You give her an air hug (because we are still in a pandemic, after all), and give her a gentle smile. She bursts into tears, profusely thanking you.

“I love you so much, thank you! I thought I was alone. All this time, all these misunderstandings with strangers on the subway and in the grocery store! It’s just been getting to me. I’m glad I’m not the only one.”

You hand her a tissue to wipe away her flowing tears…and the corkscrew. She’ll be okay, you just know it.  We’re all in the same boat, babe.

Anna Snapp
Author: Anna Snapp
Anna is a Brooklyn-based actor and writer, trying to figure which is more important to her: taking down the men on dating apps who refer to themselves as "humble", or watching enough terrible reality TV to officially lessen her value. Anna believes in progressive politics, Dua Lipa, and mediocre boxes of Sauvignon Blanc.