Local Karen Writes Strongly Worded Letter to Herself


It’s me. Karen. For years I have been your supporter. When you called the police on that man walking his dog in the park because you felt “threatened,” I understood. After all, he wasn’t white. When you stormed through Walmart without a mask saying it was your constitutional right to not wear a mask and called the manager and corporate, you went viral, and I still had your back. But Covid has gotten me to do a gosh darn lot of self realization. Also, since I haven’t been able to see a hair dresser because of quarantine I’m growing out of my Karenesq locks and seeing the world from different eyes. Why, I almost look like a liberal now. Taking this close look at myself I decided I need to call the manager… on myself.

Karen, maybe a man is just walking in a park. And maybe the proper greeting for him is “hello,” rather than a phone call to the police. Wow. I know. When I enter a store, it may be my constitutional right to not wear a mask or even to brandish a gun. But I don’t have to exercise that right. And actually, it’s more polite and better for my community if I just put on my mask and shop. Imagine all the cute masks we can make it our craft she shed! So many excuses to buy more fabric and make cute themed masks for Becky. Chad is gonna be so on board with this!

The truth is Karen, we don’t need to be a major bug to society and we don’t need to be angry all the time. Like our Jesus bumper stickers, we can spread the word of good community values and support. We can try to be better. Of course we will still cross the street every time a man of color approaches us. But we gotta start somewhere.

PS. Shave your armpits this isn’t Lilith Fair. 

Anastasia Washington
Bi Racial Actress, Comedian, Writer, Podcaster, Filmmaker and Curvy Positive model. You can keep with her and all things Anastasia at https://linktr.ee/anastasiawash.