Lydia woke up in her apartment on a chilly, autumn morning with an extremely sore throat. While, Covid forced her to physically isolate, politics forced her to mentally. Lydia hadn’t seen or spoken to a soul in days, if not weeks. She spent the rest of the day puzzled as to how this could be. Could it have been the hot lavender tea she forced into her nighttime routine to seem more holistic? Or what about the fumes of resin she inhaled in order to make earrings out of sliced limes? Again to seem more holistic. To take a break from pondering, she decided to scroll through Twitter to read the latest happenings. Red in the face, Lydia started to break into a coughing fit.
Still confused, she went about the rest of her day. She stopped at the grocery store for some oat milk, ate a handful of caterpillars, and went to her singing lessons. She took this opportunity to ask a professional what was wrong with her throat. Lydia’s voice coach informed her that everyone is straining their voice by internally screaming all day every day.
“Hm, that makes sense,” Lydia retorted. She confessed to the hours and hours she spends everyday day couch-locked and spiraling; along with a clenched jaw and carpal tunnel, these activities seemed to come with severe consequences.
“It’s important to warm the internal voice before beginning your internal screaming for the day. Otherwise, you might not be able to internally scream when you get older,” stated the voice coach. “In fact,” she added, “I intend on internally screaming until the day I die a slow and beautiful death.”
The voice coach went on to explain how she was going to reincarnate as a monarch butterfly, and Lydia started to internally scream to drown her out. This time, however, she was using her diaphragm.
Proudly, Lydia walked out of her voice lesson ready to internally scream her heart out. She internally screamed at the barista who got her order wrong, the parking meter that refused to take her coins, and the podcast her boyfriend made her listen to. Finally, Lydia could have the best of both worlds. She could maintain a healthy throat all while fulfilling her healthy appetite for death, and caterpillars.
The transformation in her life was so impactful, she began a journey to help others find their internal sore throat relief. Lydia is now starting her own business for inner-voice lozenges. They come in the flavors “Soul-Crushing Existential Dread,” “My Mother Never Loved Me,” and “Very Cherry.” She hopes to help everyone else get the internal scream they’re looking for.
