Local Woman’s Vision Board Only Pictures of Deli Sandwiches

We may be a third of the way through 2022 already, but that doesn’t mean we can’t continue aspiring for greatness and manifesting our own versions of success. For some, that means looking for a new job where you can meet your fullest potential. Perhaps it means opening your heart to new love and romance. For others, it’s much simpler: deli sandwiches. Deli sandwiches as far as the eye can see. 

Local woman Donna Clunk has inspired friends and neighbors by affixing only photographs of deli sandwiches to her vision board.

“Yeah, my roommates and I decided we should make vision boards. I really liked that idea. Then I had to do some deep thinking about what kind of energy I wanted to attract into my life this year. And the answer was simple: deli meat piled sky high on sourdough bread.” 

Rock on, Donna! Not everyone was so accepting of Donna’s aspirations.

We checked in with her mom, Rebecca Clunk. “I mean, what about her cholesterol? Has she even considered cholesterol? Donna’s just a little lost right now, I think. You could wish for anything, like a BOYFRIEND. And you wish for deli meat? A good job or a nice apartment, and you wish for deli meat? Okay, Donna. I just don’t get that girl. I worry about her sometimes.”

For Donna, it’s just that easy. “I love a good sandwich. I can go out and apply for any job I want. But I need to focus on bringing good sandwich energy into my life. Because if the bread isn’t soft enough, or it’s too soft, that’s bad. It’s great to get a pickle on there. Just something to give you an added pop of flavor while you’re working through all that meat, am I right girls? Some lettuce, maybe. But it depends. We can’t throw off the soft-to-crunch ratio. Maybe no lettuce, for now. And if we’re talking pastrami, it’s gotta be lean and not fatty. Some slaw? I’m in. And let’s not forget the cheese. I’m thinking… Swiss. Slam a little mustard or maybe even a Thousand Island dressing if we’re feeling crazy. And you got yourself a party! So, make fun of me all you want. But when I’m up to my neck in delicious and thoughtfully crafted artisan sandwiches, I’ll be the one laughing. A sandwich like that doesn’t come easily. You gotta work for it.” 

Slay, Donna! We wish you the best of luck with your sandwiches. We could all learn a lesson or two from you in terms of asking for what we want. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go procure a sandwich, immediately. Thanks, Donna! Long Live the Rueben.

Callie Webb
Author: Callie Webb
Callie is a comedian, human being, and woman. She has a fondness for George Michael and videos of unlikely animal friendships.