“Congrats! So happy for you! It couldn’t have happened to a better person!” These are all things we say when a dear friend shares their good news with us. Whether it’s a graduation, an engagement, or even a promotion at work. But you’re probably wondering: how can I make this about me?
I know I am! I’m fun like that.
My name is Debra von Strunk, PHD; I’m a doctor of the mind and spirit. As a professional life coach with a specialty in interpersonal relationships, I know all about turning any social situation back around to be about you. No longer will you have to suffer through a loved one’s good news without talking about yourself or bragging about one of your own many accomplishments. Here I will outline some strategies that have been effective for my clients. I’m excellent at what I do.
1. Remind the other person that whatever they’re excited about has already happened to you. So no matter how exciting it is, you’ve been there, done that, and got the t-shirt.
2. Helpfully point out all the ways you would do things differently if you were in their position. This will show how smart you are and how you’re better at their life than they are. They’ll be glad to have a friend as intelligent as you. And if they’re not, they can suck an egg.
3. Straight up change the subject to something about you. Once a friend told me they had been accepted to the grad school of their choice, and in response, I said, “I think I’m developing an intolerance to gluten.” With the breakneck speed of my conversation change, they had no choice but to follow my lead.
4. Close your eyes and say “la la la la la, I can’t hear you, talk about me now!” This approach is not elegant, but it may work.
5. Physically strike the person you are speaking to. Again, I cannot legally recommend this as a therapist. But acts of physical intimidation have always proven to change the subject. Will you maintain this friendship? Probably not. Realistically, this is not a good idea. But if you’re desperate to change the subject and talk about yourself, you need to resort to desperate measures.
If these approaches don’t work for your purposes, there’s no hope. In that case, I recommend talking only to yourself. I find I’m an excellent conversationalist because I almost always agree with what I say. Also, I do not have any friends.
