My partner bought me a Fitbit for Christmas, knowing I had been thinking it would be good to start getting some exercise in. New Year’s Resolution: get healthy. Game plan: 10,000 steps per day. I wanted to be one of those people that says at 5pm, “Oh no no no. No wine for me yet. Gotta go get my steps in, and then I will have deserved a glass or two,” or, “I love going to the mall! Such a great way of getting my steps in!”
Getting healthy seemed like way more fun than I had previously assumed. Who needs a gym when walking from your car to the food court does the same job? On January 1 I was like: Move on over, Kate Upton, I have a FitBit and I am not afraid to use it. I’m about to swagger my way through these steps!!
By mid January something awful had become apparent to me. 10,000 steps is a fucklot of steps. Like a LOT. Here is a list of activities and the number of steps you will take while doing them:
- Walk round the block – 700
- 2 walks round the block – 1400
- 10 walks round the block – 5100 (There is actually a super cool shortcut I discovered one night in round eight.)
- Walking to Subway – 925 (Not THE subway. The sandwich shop. You should try their meatball marinara sub. So good.)
- Walking to a Subway further away – 1575 (Tiring. Definitely get that special deal where you get a bag of Sun Chips and a soda as well.)
- Walk in place while talking to on the phone – 200 steps per 5 minutes. In other words, if you spend 4 hours per day talking to your friends, you’ll get the job done.
You know what you have to do to reach 10,000 steps?
- Walk 5 miles. FIVE. MILES. PER. DAY!!!
- 90 minutes of vigorous exercise. NINETY. MINUTES. EVERY. DAY!!!
All of a sudden, going to the gym does not sound like such a bad idea anymore. And you know a health craze is bad when it makes going to the gym feel like the more desirable option. I returned my FitBit and I got myself a 3-month gym membership instead! I will report back next month to let you know how it’s going!
[Editor’s suggestion to our readers: do not check back next month. This is not going to end well. ]
