Just One More Episode and Other Lies I Tell Myself

A day in the life of a liar with zero impulse control:

Five more minutes

One more push of the snooze button

I’m getting out of bed now

I don’t need to wash my hair

One more cup of coffee before I go and I won’t forget about while I’m getting ready and

have it go cold

I’ll scroll through Facebook but I won’t read the news postings

I will not read the comment sections

I will not lose faith in humanity

I have time to grab breakfast on the way

I’ll pack my gym stuff so I definitely will go to the gym after work

I’ll breeze through emails first thing when I get into work

I’ll only scroll through Instagram for one more minute

I am a nice person and not at all passive aggressive towards my co-worker

PER MY LAST EMAIL

I accidentally forgot my lunch so I have to have pizza again

I will not text him back

A muffin is fine, it’s totally different from a cupcake

One more cup of coffee

I drink enough water

I definitely won’t text him again

I love my job

Caffeine doesn’t effect me like that

I’m going to the gym

I can walk by the shoe sale

I have impulse control

I can wear these anywhere

I would absolutely love to join you for brunch Sunday morning

I’m fifteen minutes later to the gym than I wanted to be so it’s not worth me going at all

It’s okay, I’ll have a healthy dinner

I’m going to cook dinner

I’ll order a salad

I WILL NOT TEXT HIM BACK

I deserve this slice of cake

After dinner I’m going to get so much stuff done

I’m going to read before bed

Just one more episode

Just ONE more episode

I’ll get up early tomorrow even though I stayed up late tonight

I don’t need to floss

Sleeping in makeup one night won’t do any harm to my severely sensitive skin

I’ll get up on my first alarm

FIVE MORE MINUTES