Justin Timberlake Transitioned Out of Frosted Ramen Noodle Hair, You Can Get Through This Break Up

The year was 1998. Everything was perfect. You didn’t have a care in the world. You were busy rocking those butterfly hair clips and glittery jeans from Limited Too that faded from hot pink to a breathtaking cotton candy-like color for reasons we still can’t comprehend. But most importantly, your favorite boy band, *N’SYNC was front and center on your world’s stage. 

Oh, Justin. Justin freakin’ Timberlake. You were such a gem, an icon, an unstoppable force that took the hearts of young girls nationwide. But…that hair. An unnatural white-golden disaster, gelled like there was no tomorrow, in the shape of…our favorite Japanese noodle dish. 

We looked past this tragedy because we connected so deeply to “It’s Gonna Be Me” and “Bye Bye Bye.” We looked past it because you were so charming and we looked forward to the day we had a Justin Timberlake of our own. 

Fast forward twenty years, it’s Friday night, and you are on your couch, eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia, and crying over the loss of who you thought was the love of your life. Your best gal pals are urging you to get over him…and to take a shower. 

He was kind of an asshole sometimes, but he loved me! I’m never going to find another guy who will make me laugh like that. This feels impossible right now. How the hell am I supposed to get over a four-year relationship? It’s over for me.

It’s time to get a grip girl. Justin came out the other end, with perfectly quaffed hair, Jessica Biel for a wife, and a whole new brand. No longer is he that innocent teen star, he is a man now. “Started from the bottom now we here” are actually lyrics written about him…and you. You can do this.

It feels like things will never get better, but just remember the transformation that is in store for you, honey. Your journey is just beginning; and I’m sure there are highlights and a bold haircut waiting for you in the near future. Take life by the unfortunate hair style and go for it! If he could do it, so can you.

Image: AOL

Anna Snapp
Author: Anna Snapp
Anna is a Brooklyn-based actor and writer, trying to figure which is more important to her: taking down the men on dating apps who refer to themselves as "humble", or watching enough terrible reality TV to officially lessen her value. Anna believes in progressive politics, Dua Lipa, and mediocre boxes of Sauvignon Blanc.