Oral Surgery and Other Things I Miss From Life Before the Pandemic

Life today sure looks different than life just a few months ago. The ways in which we work, socialize, and view the world around us have been turned upside-down. While isolated from friends and family, it’s hard not to dwell on the past and long for happier days. So with no end in sight, I’d like to share some of the things I miss most from life before the pandemic.

5. War with Iran

Oh, to be me three months ago, worried sick that a US-Iran war was going to be the defining tragedy of my life. All I could think was, “My family in Iran is going to die!” And I was right!  

4. Oral surgery 

What I wouldn’t give for a middle-aged man to stick his entire hand into my mouth right now and rip out one of my teeth. Oh, how I yearn for the gentle caress of a sterilized, be-gloved finger on my gums. 

3. Pooping in public restrooms

There’s nothing quite like the feeling of putting one’s entire bare ass on a plastic seat that thousands of other people have also put their entire bare asses on. It gives one a sense of community, of connection to all the women who took big ol’ dumps here in days past. I want that back.

2. Touching thighs with the person next to me on the train in the summertime

So often do we feel adrift in the world. Alone. So often do we recede into ourselves and feel unseen, unloved. But then your sweaty thigh sticks to someone else’s sweaty thigh on the train and you feel connected. Seen. Held.

1. Having hope 

This is probably the biggest one! The future is an enormous black void and we are careening towards it! Death is everywhere and I am afraid, so terribly afraid!

Nora Panahi
Author: Nora Panahi
Nora is an Iranian-American, Buddhist-Muslim, Boston-based stand-up comic with great hair and a 2011 white Toyota Yaris with crank windows. She has been called the c-word by at least three men and she totally deserved it.