QUIZ: Is He Attractive, or Does He Just Own More Than One Lamp?

Sometimes, a person catches your attention, and you can’t explain why. They just have that X factor that makes you feel magnetized to them, and you want to be around them as much as possible. Other times, there is a very logical, perhaps disappointing, explanation for your attraction. For instance, maybe your personal bar is so low, because you’ve only ever dated men who own just a single rickety floor lamp, so this new person is only appealing because he has his shit together. Take our handy quiz to find out if this pertains to you! 

When you look at this guy, his smile: 

A.) Lights up a room of its own accord

B.) Lights up a room but you can’t tell if it’s because it’s a gorgeous smile or because he has custom gallery lighting on sliders 

C.) What smile? That gallery lighting too distracting.

If you were to brag about this guy to your friends, you would definitely mention his: 

A.) Courageous spirit and attentive demeanor

B.) Courageous art deco lighting purchases and attention to detail with his lamp placement

C.) High-ticket apartment furnishings including a very convincing Tiffany lamp replica

Your idea of the perfect date with him would be: 

A.) Exploring the city and going somewhere new to both of you

B.) Exploring his well-lit apartment and enjoying deep conversation and a nice meal

C.) Exploring his well-lit apartment and fantasizing that he doesn’t even live there, it’s just you and the lamps

If your ex could see you and this new guy now, he would: 

A.) Finally see what a respectful gentleman looks like

B.) Be impressed that this guy is so great and keeps such a well-decorated home

C.) Be too high on his bare-ass mattress on the floor to even notice what’s going on


If you answered mostly As, you’re into this guy for the right reasons! Go for it!

If you answered mostly Bs, it’s not clear whether you like him or his lighting 

fixtures. Go on a few more dates to parse through those feelings! 

If you answered mostly Cs, you may wanna let this relationship burn out…unlike his energy-efficient LED bulbs.

Mary Gulino
Author: Mary Gulino
Mary is an LA-based writer from New Jersey whose work can be seen online and on TV (unless you count streaming platforms as online, in which case, it's all online). She got glasses when she was two, and would love to talk optometry sometime.