Stop Writing Movies About Gay Singers and Just Come up with Some Gay Characters Already!

Dear Hollywood, 

I really liked both of your big gay movies this year. 

Bohemian Rhapsody spoke to me specifically as a bisexual Persian with a mustache. Rocketman was great because it made me forget Taron Egerton was ever in those Kingsman: Secret Service movies. I (my boyfriend) paid full price to see both films, and despite usually being pretty cynical and pretentious about movies I genuinely enjoyed them. 

But please, enough. 

We have now had enough movies about gay dude singers with British accents finding themselves in the 70s. I thought this was a pretty niche genre but then y’all just went ahead and made two movies. 

And neither movie is perfect in its depiction of that queerness. Each focuses too heavily on the “gay men are sexual deviants” stereotype, and Rocketman dips its toes into the now-defunct “my father never hugged me as a child so I’m looking for love from men” psychological explanation for homosexuality. Yes, both men were historically sexually devious and no, I’m not complaining because watching the guy who played Robb Stark kiss a version of Elton John that looks a bit like my boyfriend had me on the edge of my seat. 

So thanks for that, but I think we’re ready for gay stories that haven’t been told yet. 

Give me a movie about a gay kid who grew up an Evangelical Christian. Give me a comedy about a bisexual having to choose between fraternal twins. Give me a riveting drama about two female serial killers who fall in love. That last one is actually my season three pitch for Killing Eve, but I’ll take a movie adaptation for that too. 

I’m not going to dive into all the trans and non-gender conforming stories that need to be told, even though they do and they need to be told by someone other than Jared Leto. That’s a whole other issue that deserves more attention, so stay tuned.

In conclusion, Hollywood, I love what you’re doing. Keep it up with the queer stuff, but I think we’re ready for newer, gayer movies. No more gay British singers. 

Unless you want to do a David Bowie biopic starring Tilda Swinton. I would see that. 

Love and little gay kisses, 

Nora 

Nora Panahi
Author: Nora Panahi
Nora is an Iranian-American, Buddhist-Muslim, Boston-based stand-up comic with great hair and a 2011 white Toyota Yaris with crank windows. She has been called the c-word by at least three men and she totally deserved it.