The Los Angeles Date Scene in “You” That Would Literally Never Happen in Los Angeles

Spoiler alert. Probs don’t read this if you haven’t watched both seasons of You. But duh, dude. Duh. 

I know that You is a show that is very successful in allowing us to believe the unbelievable: That a h-h-HOT, perfect, sensitive guy can murder half the people in his circle, barely be a suspect and get away with it in style. I’m there for that story, and the writing is so good, that I lap up every detail without overanalyzing it. 

I mean, in Season 2, Joe mentions in his inner monologue that he’s pretty broke from hastily moving to Los Angeles. And yet he still manages to both buy and build a high-tech, well lit plexiglass cage for the dude whose identity he steals and therefore must imprison. Makes total sense. Whatever,You, I’m not asking questions. Love it. Keep doing what you do. 

But I do have a big, dead-body-sized bone to pick with the epic date scene between Love and Joe/Will in the first episode of Season 2. You know, how Love decides to take Joe/Will all over Los Angeles to find the “perfect bite” that might help him fall in love with his new city (and her). It’s a sweet idea. She’s such a foodie woman, and she’s gonna find the food that speaks to his heart. So they drive around (the driving was edited out of the scene, but they must have because HOW ELSE WOULD THEY HAVE DONE IT) to every corner of the city having tacos, and more tacos, and bao, and catching a perfect view of the city in the midst of it all. And when his facial expression doesn’t show enough overt joy while chewing, she brings him back to the Anavrin kitchen to make him the perfect meal herself. And Love looks perfect making it, which works in her favor because Joe/Will’s taste buds require an active hard on in order to function properly. 

Okay. Cute. If this season still took place in New York, or even Chicago, any city with a half way decent train system I’d be like, cool, makes sense. They might be able to shlep around and still stay in cute date mode. But hold up, You writers: you expect us to believe this perfect date happened in Los Angeles? You expect us to buy the idea that Love was like, “Hey, I know how to make you fall in love with your new city! Let’s drive to multiple places in one night so we can endure the freeways as often as possible! In fact, let’s choose a different neighborhood for each bite of taco so we can spend three unnecessary hours in the car!”

No no no. At the risk of sounding obvious, traffic is real. It’s the reason people meditate and do yoga and do all the other woo-woo stereotypical Los Angeles pastimes. We are all road rage mutants that coat ourselves in a mirror glaze of zen so we can cope with the traffic that is murdering our souls with a vengeance that Joe/Will couldn’t even understand. 

Here’s the thing, Joe/Will: Love’s intro to the city was a fantasy, so let me level with you, you sexy psychopath. This is Los Angeles. Where friendships between Santa Monica residents and Echo Park dwellers are deemed impossible. Where people like to brag about driving “all the way from Santa Clarita” to visit a restaurant in Silver Lake, and therefore think they deserve the best table in the house for their “troubles.” Where people have affairs because they just want to get in bed after work and their own bed is a two hour hell ride away. No one would ever drive all over the city for multiple meals unless they were picking up orders for Postmates.

The only time we ever feel good about living here is when we pick a less popular day to hike and can convince ourselves that space exists where we can breathe. And we take a deep, smoggy breath of that lie before we get back in our car and endure the angry drive from Runyon back to our shit apartment in the valley. 

So sorry, I call bullshit. But listen, You writers: if you have Joe/Will die and come back to life and bring his kills and their past lives back to life with him, my suspension of disbelief will be there and waiting for you. That would be way more believable than that fantasy, non-vegan food date, you silly goofs.

Image: NETFLIX You Season 2 Trailer

Courtney Blomquist
Courtney is comedian, writer, and occasional photographer in Los Angeles. She's a little bit basic, but also a little bit rad, so it all evens out in the end.