The Rumble of the Train Shaking My Love Handles is the Most Intimately I’ve Been Touched in Months

Some folks take the train to get to work. Others ride the tracks to and from their favorite bar. But for me, the train reminds me of happier days- days when someone was there to hold me and love me, warts and all. 

The rumble of the train shaking my love handles is the most intimately I’ve been touched in months.

Maybe years.

Once upon a time, the shivers and shakes of the MBTA inspired in me a desire for improved public infrastructure. Now I pray that day never comes. If I’m not getting those good vibrations from my commute, I’m not getting any. And I need those good vibrations, I crave those excitations.

My knees shake when the speaker emits the conductor’s crackly voice. “I want to ride this for as long as I can,” I think, licking my lips. If only I could respond to that muffled man.

It’s not just lust that drives me (but there’s definitely horniness involved). I feel a true connection to the train. There is a spark of romance between me and my public transportation which no mere person can match. To prove my love, I’ve written a haiku to rumbly trains everywhere. I hope you think of it the next time an abrupt stop gives your hips a jiggle.

No repairs in years.

Brake. Shake me, take me. Stop and

Start; conduct my heart.

Image: Boston Magazine

Author: Maya Satin
Maya is a Boston-based sketch writer, improviser, and vampire. When she isn't doing a show, she can't be found, so don't try looking. Also, a construction worker once cat-called her sandwich.