By Aviel Stern
You have carefully booked a three-day trip to a relaxing destination that also happens to lack tourists. Score! Any introvert knows that the last thing they would ever want to do is walk through big crowds of tourists just to view the oldest carousel in America. Instead, our ideal destination is a charming cottage that also happens to be a remarkably luxurious chalet. You get the picture.
Joining you on this getaway are your noteworthy friends, your cousins (the winning family members who can be tolerated for more than six hours), and your dreamboat boyfriend/sexy girlfriend or lover (the star of the show).
While you are looking forward to feeling like the center of attention, in reality you are itching to sit alone for long periods of time. I mean don’t get me wrong, traveling with friends and family is a nice way to feel like a social human being. However, as an introvert you know it is critical, no actually dangerously essential that you are able to take time for yourself on this trip. If not, it may result in a tragic situation where you decide to argue with your lover on how to cut bell peppers correctly. Catastrophic!
It can be frightening to be an introvert on a group vacation, which is why I will now provide a self-guide on how to strategically earn yourself alone time. No longer will you end up in a sticky situation that may result in your friends dragging you to go kayaking.
Morning Day 1: Your goal for day one is for your cousins and friends, who have never met each other, to become best friends by the end of the day. Once they become great acquaintances, you will be able to spend the next three days alone while they entertain each other.
Afternoon Day 1: Express to the group that you need to send out some “dreadful” work e-mails. Insist that they go to the pool without you and that you will catch up with them in 30 minutes. In reality, you will be sunbathing on the deck listening to your favorite podcast.
Evening Day 1: Suggest to your friends that it would be really fun to camp outside for the night. The weather is perfect, the stars are visible, and s’mores will be involved! Express this idea in the most extroverted fashion possible. While the group is outside, quietly sneak back into the house. It’s you and the empty house, baby! No one will suspect a thing.
Morning Day 2: Eat something for breakfast that is a little funky. Honestly there is nothing wrong with getting your stomach a little upset, if it means sitting in your bedroom alone and watching “Say Yes to the Dress."
Afternoon Day 2: You are still “recovering” from your upset stomach. Nice.
Evening Day 2: Ask one of your friends to play chess with you. Chess is a great game for introverts. It is the one-on-one game that also happens to be too boring for other people to watch.
Morning Day 3: Wake up early to tell your friends about a really cool farmers market in town. Say something like “Last week James Taylor’s sister was at the farmers market and she was singing with a guitar!" Once everyone is in the car, express to them how inexplicably tired you are and that you think you will stay back on this one. The group will go to the farmers market, and you will enjoy a calming breakfast outside while watching birds.
Afternoon Day 3: Suggest you all go to a museum. Museums are educational, mainly quiet, and actually fun to experience with friends. You will leave feeling relaxed and like a social butterfly. Amazing.
Evening Day 3: Volunteer to cook dinner. This can be quite relaxing for an introvert. If you are not a cook, don't worry. For non-cooks, all you need to do is purchase an already made rotisserie chicken and pre-made potato salad from the deli aisle. When the group is not looking remove the food from its packaging and place it on a plate as if you made it yourself. Genius!
With these tips you will be swinging into any weekend getaway with success. You will even leave with your introverted brain not feeling overstimulated by too many conversations. So, get out there, and enjoy your three-day getaway “with” your friends!
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