By Mary Gulino
In any relationship, communication is key. So how is it that the only person on earth
who seems to have fully mastered the art of effective communication is the one typing
from within the Bank of America Live Chat feature? If your partner’s verbal skills leave
you feeling unfulfilled, you may need to cut your losses and find someone new who can
meet your needs. Use this guide to ensure your next boo is just as courteous as your
faceless BoA rep!
Ask him if he’s available to you 24/7.
If your partner doesn’t want to be available unconditionally, then there are some serious
walls up. With the BoA mobile app, the virtual assistant, Erica, is always available at
your fingertips. If your new crush has “boundaries” or “doesn’t want to wake up to a
barrage of concerning texts when there’s nothing wrong,” forget about him.
Shoot him a text and see how he responds.
Okay, now put your plan into action. Send your inquiry on over! Analyze whether his
communication skills are really up to par with those of BoA. When he first replies, does
he awkwardly greet you by name because you had to enter it in order to start the chat?
Cute as hell. Does he profusely apologize for a ten second delay even though you
weren’t even inconvenienced? Great. Does he adopt a corporate tone with all company-
approved phrasings? Love it. Does he finish every text with “Is there anything else I can
help you with today?” This man is a true professional!
Assess his conflict resolution skills.
With the BoA live chat feature, your financial problems can get solved without you ever
having to step foot inside a bank! Make sure your new romantic interest uses emotional
intelligence just as adeptly to help you with your non-financial problems. Put his
mediation skills to the test and determine if he’s the type of communicator you need in
your life right now. Think of a clear prompt like, “I’m having issues with a coworker” or “I
can’t decide which type of skincare routine to start.” If he doesn’t act as a helpful
sounding board and answer all your concerns in a timely fashion, he’s not worth your
time! But if he has cleared all these hurdles so far, the final step is…
DO NOT TAKE HIS STUPID SURVEY.
Nobody has time for that. His reputation is not your problem. Jeeze, that’s so needy of
him. How does it make sense that you asked him one question and now you’re paying
for it by clicking “strongly agree” for the rest of your life? Nope nope nope.
Image: Bank of America