By Tricia D'Onofrio
Have you ever made an error or five behind the wheel? Of course you have. A revolutionary study from the McAuliffe Institute concludes that there is no such thing as a "good driver." Instead, there are just shades of subpar. This gradient runs from driving dangerously slow, to losing your license for trying to jump the traffic cones. Now imagine if there was a way to show your car comrades that yes, you know that was a scummy move and it is indeed your bad.
Sick of the ridicule of the Cybertruck, Elon Musk has recently invented the "sorry switch." When you make an error, simply flip on your sorry switch to let the other driver know that you didn’t mean to be such a little stinker, you just really wanted Pandora to let you skip that song while driving.
This savvy little device aims to reduce road rage and allows people to just own their dangerous errors, like looking for your chapstick too long at red lights and using the road as your own bowling alley bumpers. This device is being praised by influencers as "kind of a big deal."
“The sorry switch is a game changer. I hardly even feel bad when I cut off my fourth grade teacher now,” said Adaris Sprigle, a top apologist on the Tik Tok platform. Springle is a close friend of Oprah, and is well known for apologizing profusely to his dog Croissant for going to work each day.
Top engineer on the team Chanel Zyip said, “One important aspect of my personality is needlessly whispering apologies, so you know I wanted to bring that piece of me into my first prototype...Yikes! I didn’t mean to spill my water you know, sometimes my hands just do that... Sorry about that.”
The sorry switch comes in a variety of styles: yikes, oopsie daisy, my bad and the best seller: baby Yoda with the phrase “Sorry, I am.” Each purchase of the sorry switch comes with a backup booster for emergencies. Press the button and you’ll instantly be able to Venmo them five bucks for putting up with your reckless shenanigans. Every time you deploy this, Baby Yoda will floss in a hologram on the hood of their car, likely causing another near-accident.