Quarantine Cleaning: When You Realize How Many Things You Bought And Never Used

Quarantine has given me plenty of time to clean out all the boxes, closets and junk drawers I’ve neglected for… quite some time (years). Here is a list of ten things I bought and never used.

1. A foot pumice stone. I bought this for at-home pedicures. Looking at it just made me feel sad. And lazy. Instead of doing the work myself I bought “Baby Foot,” an at-home chemical foot peel that leaves you with the softest feet you can imagine.

2. A tight black turtleneck. I live in Los Angeles. I can wear turtlenecks approximately 1.5 seconds of the year. And when given the opportunity, I simply don’t want to.

3. Cheap iron on patches. I recently decked-out my denim jacket… only to find my manatee, popcorn and the letter “S” of “SK” on the sidewalk back by my house after a long walk. Invest in the good ones. The other cheap ones sit on my dresser, unused.

4. A fancy face mask. I got a mask for “dress up”… and then remembered there’s nowhere to go.

5. Fake nails. Again, I’m not sure my rationale, especially during this pandemic, but I have enough cherry-painted acrylics to decorate the cast of Cheer.

6. Yet another reusable water bottle. I’m not sure why I feel like I need so many receptacles to carry my water but there’s half a cabinet full.

7. Double sided tape. Maybe you are a nice wrapper of gifts, who doesn’t want the tape work to be shown. I am not.

8. Squash blossoms. I’ve always wanted to make stuffed squash blossoms, like my Italian Grandma Susie did. They’re usually filled with ricotta and herbs and deep fried- and they are delicious. I bought a big bunch of these and, deep fryer
intimidated, let them go bad in the back of my refrigerator.

9. Chopstick holders. My husband and I love to use chopsticks at home. But, having many jobs, crazy schedules and a hungry toddler and Boston terrier, we really aren’t eating slowly enough to rest our chopsticks anywhere between bites.

10. “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.” Marie Kondo- you seem like an absolute gem. But I actually lost this book three times in piles of my own junk. As you can see, I’m not great about parting with things because it all sparks joy- in theory. But organizing has shown me it’s more about the long term joys.

So I’m going to list all these things on the Facebook group “Buy Nothing,” and let someone else enjoy junk/treasures. Until then, I’ve got a real urge to buy some nail polish that changes color with your mood…

Susan-Kate Heaney (Los Angeles, CA) @sue_kate Susan-Kate Heaney is an actor (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, The Mindy Project, Masters of Sex), writer (multiple one-woman shows, webseries, movies) and new mom (Clover). She loves comedy and performs live often (improv, stand-up, sketch). She is the host of a podcast called "The Quirks" and spoiler alert... she has many of them. ​