QUIZ: Is Your Baby Old Enough to be Left With a Sitter Who Will Fart Nonstop on the Couch for Six Hours?

Choosing when to introduce your baby to a sitter can be a stressful decision. Some new parents may want to expedite the process so they can prepare their child for daycare; others may want to hold on to their special, exclusive bond as long as possible. That’s understandable, as there are many risks that come with leaving a child in someone else’s care—namely, you’re subjecting your child to a stranger’s farts for an entire evening. Use this handy guide to figure out if your child is old enough to handle this transition!

Is your baby old enough to be bottle fed?

a) No the baby requires breastfeeding only

b) Yes bottle feeding is fine, but it might make the baby gassier than usual in
which case the babysitter might blame her own gas on the baby

Is your baby old enough to say words?

a) No, the baby only makes incoherent sounds

b) Yes, the baby can even say “ew smelly” when someone—for instance, the
babysitter—is responsible for producing an unpleasant smell

Has your baby been away from their parents before?

a) Not yet, the little one has only ever known its parents

b) Yes, this baby has been with other adults and children and at certain times has
even been subjected to their farts

Is there a familiar pet in the house that can help your baby retain a sense of normalcy
in your absence?

a) No, when the parents leave, it will just be baby and the sitter

b) Yes, there is a dog that will sit in the corner, judging the sitter with side eye for
each fart that erupts on that couch cushion

Is your baby old enough to appreciate the trash reality TV that will inevitably blare all

a) This baby has no idea what television is

b) This baby is not familiar with the show per se, but who’s to say that it won’t
become a fan after six straight hours of exposure?

Is your baby actually a toddler who is potty trained?

a) No, the baby is still in diapers

b) Yes, the child is potty trained and perhaps even more responsible about bodily
functions than the babysitter

MOSTLY As – Leaving a baby this young with a sitter might feel scary, but as long as the person is CPR certified with good references, you should put your faith in them. After all, you deserve a night off. And as a bonus, your baby is too young to store
memories, so the little one won’t even remember how much the sitter farts on the couch while you’re out!

MOSTLY Bs – Congrats, your baby is definitely old enough to handle a sitter. One word of advice to though: leave some Tums out for the sitter, please. Your baby will thank you later.

Mary Gulino
Author: Mary Gulino
Mary is an LA-based writer from New Jersey whose work can be seen online and on TV (unless you count streaming platforms as online, in which case, it's all online). She got glasses when she was two, and would love to talk optometry sometime.