QUIZ: What Does Your Taste in Flannel Say About You in Bed?

It’s officially flannel season for everyone except male comedians, who just wear flannel all year. Deciding which type of flannel is difficult, as there are secret codes associated with your choice. What does your flannel choice say about your sex life? Take our quiz to find out!

What type of print do you wear the most?

1. Gingham/small print

2. Medium Print

3. Thick

4. Stripes


1. Small printed plaid is a key indicator that you are a control freak. Out of all the kinds of freaks to be in the sheets, uptight might not be the most favorable. Sure you may be a snack, but you look like the whole damn table. It doesn’t matter your gender, if you’re wearing gingham, it means you put your glasses in their designated case, you pay your bills on time, and you enjoy a nice quiet evening not letting anyone choke you.

2. A medium print, shown on most designed clothes, is adjusted for people who enjoy the finer things in life. And being that most of us are struggling in this economy, nothing says Sugar Baby like Burberry. If someone is rocking the medium print, they may be rocking someone else to get it.

3. Thick plaid, the uniform of lumberjacks, is the most sexually aggressive print. The confidence and raw rugged sexuality of this print is perfect for doing it in that musty tent you set up in your sister’s backyard. You can, and will, do it anywhere.

4. Are you a mime or Beetlejuice? What a wildcard! Someone who would even consider a striped plaid might be seriously disturbed and thus may be the greatest time of your life.

Kelly Collette
Kelly is a standup comedian who has performed at limestone, San Francisco Sketchfest, laughfest and more. She tours nationally and was named Best Comedian in Cincinnati.