It’s a tale as old as time: boy stars in a movie, girl falls in love with boy, boy is Borat. For many of us, the release of Sacha Baron Coen’s Borat Subsequent Moviefilm has opened the floodgates of romantic and sexual attraction to the movie’s disgusting star. He is the journalist from Kazakhstan who makes our hearts say, “wawaweewa.”
While this take may be controversial to some, to others it just makes sense. Within this article, I will be referring to Borat, Sacha Baron Coen’s character, and not Sacha Baron Coen himself. It would not be controversial to express attraction to SBC, as he is handsome in a way that isn’t weird, extremely tall, and very funny. Also, rich. He has a hot wife, Isla Fischer, for a reason. The guy is a catch. But we’re not talkin’ Sacha. We’re talkin’ Borat. And that’s where the trouble begins. Here’s how to unpack that attraction and discuss it with your friends, family, coworkers, and maybe therapists.
Obviously, if you watch Borat and find yourself attracted to Borat, that’s bad. There is maybe something clinically and fundamentally incorrect about your brain and how it processes information. But it’s where millions of Americans find themselves right now. Is it the ugly suit, the disheveled hair, the alarming mustache? Or is it the way he says the worst possible thing at any given moment? In defense of Borat, he has potentially saved our democracy from Rudy Guiliani’s penis. That is a point for Borat being sexy. He’s also a great father now. That’s beautiful. He can provide for you and your family. Unfortunately, he is also gross and says the worst things I have ever heard in my life.
We cannot begin to get into Borat’s political beliefs, because they are all unforgivably bad. But we see now with this release of his second movie, that he is capable of change and growth. Perhaps the true beauty of Borat is that he is the all-time least socially okay person we have ever seen. Ladies love a bad boy. And he is bad at so much. Like many women, I love to look at a man who is just terrible and think, “Maybe I can fix him.” Ladies, we cannot fix Borat, or anyone. But when has that stopped a gal from trying?
So now we enter the “now what?” portion of this article. I don’t actually know. I know I said I would help, but I’m someone who is attracted to Borat. So maybe you shouldn’t be coming to me for advice. You definitely shouldn’t be. Maybe one day we’ll know why this is happening to us, but until then: wawaweewa. Is nice. My wife. Et cetera.
Image: Borat Subsequent Moviefilm, Amazon
