Saint Patrick’s Day is tomorrow! Listen, you could go to an outdoor patio and socially distance as you get so drunk you end up with Covid and an STD…or you could Postmates a traditional Irish meal and cry while watching Darby O’Gill, realizing how hot Sean Connery was before we knew he was an abuser. Instead, why not make a party for one with stuff you have right there in your home. Here are 6 ways to make your night feel as lucky as the Irish!
1. Ambiance
No Saint Patrick’s day is complete without the true pub experience. An overcrowded sticky bar filled with people pretending they are Irish. But for a party of one? Just go to your kitchen. Let’s be honest, you haven’t mopped since before the pandemic. And if you have mopped and are still craving that authentic pub feel, spill a soda in your bathroom and sit on the floor near the toilet and let the memories of Saint Patrick’s Days past come flooding back.
2. Outfit
No one’s gonna pinch you for not wearing green. Heck, no one has pinched you in over a year. So pants and color mean nothing. Grab your MeUndies’ onesie that we all bought on Cyber Monday and rock it out in modal comfort.
3. Drinks
Whiskey of course. Unless you don’t have whiskey… then whatever alcohol you have will do, since you don’t have time to make bathtub gin. Or do you? Take a shot of whiskey!
4. Food
Sure you could go authentic with corn beef and cabbage and potatoes. But let’s face it, any salty meat will do! May I suggest Postmates-ing a hamburger… and don’t forget the fries! Potatoes are essential to be authentic. Take a shot of whiskey!
5. Entertainment
Sea Shanties on TikTok make for a great ambiance. Pirates were Irish right? Who cares! Take another shot of whiskey!
Missing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Maybe this will make you feel better: Saint Patrick wasn’t Irish and neither are the millions of unvaccinated people partying out there non-Covid-compliantly. So, at least you win by coming out of quarantine when it’s time. Till then, take a shot of whiskey!
