Wakey-wakey! Seriously, get out of bed. It’s past noon. I know it’s hard to face the world right now, but luckily, I have another Superbly Subpar list that will help you indulge in the idle-minded idiocy you can’t help but crave. Because bad times call for bad entertainment.
This week I’ve focused on TV shows that are oddly charming while also being dumb as a rock. So take a breath and calm your mind. Better yet, just turn it off. You absolutely will not need it.
1) Selling Sunset
Imagine scoring a prestigious real estate job that earns you bank, but also having to work with all the cattiest plastics from high school. That’s Selling Sunset in a nutshell. I know it must be hard to sell multi-million dollar properties at LA’s high-end Oppenheimer Group, but Selling Sunset makes it look as if the most difficult part of earning an eight-figure commission is putting up with unbearably shallow co-workers. And yet… that’s what makes this show so addictive. Think of it as Real Housewives of Beverly Hills meets Flip or Flop, except there is no fixing up to be done for these insanely pricey properties. It’s just the selling and strutting part. Also one of the hot girl agents is dating the dude from Flip or Flop, and I think that’s why I really used that show as an example. Check out this show if you’re looking for something that you can hate-watch and gossip about. Season 3 just came out on August 7th, so catch up already!
2) Crazy Delicious
Crazy Delicious is a British cooking competition show, which is the best kind of cooking competition show. It has impressive judges like Carla Hall, Heston Blumenthal, and Niklas Ekstedt, and the contestants do their own wild takes on classic dishes and ingredients. However, there is no cutesy, quaint tent on this show. There is instead a fully fabricated Garden of Eden, with patches of food under the trees from which the contestants must forage. Oh, and the judges aren’t referred to as judges. They are called “the Gods,” and thunder claps when they come to taste the food. Oh, and they only wear white. In fact, they wear the exact same white attire for every episode. Host Jayde Adams also wears the same outfit for every episode, which leads me to believe that they blew so much of the budget on their insane Adam and Eve set that they couldn’t afford much in the way of wardrobe. Or maybe we should chalk it up to that quirky Crazy Delicious charm? The ridiculousness of it all is what makes this one worth watching.
3) Fuller House
Perhaps you’re a hater. Perhaps you can’t accept that 90’s nostalgia is fun. Perhaps you should get over that and watch Fuller House. Seriously, turn off your need for high art and just enjoy a bite of this stupid cheese sandwich. You can tell that the writers on Fuller House are having a field day. They can get away with anything, I guess, as long as it’s family friendly. Flush a wedding dress down the toilet? Done. Go to Japan and have Kimmy’s daughter fall in love with a J-Pop star? Done. Have Steve almost get married to CJ (who says, “Holy Roloids”) and then realize that he’s actually in love with DJ (who says, “Oh Mylanta”) when DJ gives a Koi fish the Heimlich maneuver to retrieve Steve’s ring? Done and done. And those examples are all from the same two-episode arc. Fuller House brings back joke styles from twenty-five years ago while also shamelessly jumping the shark whenever they feel like it. It’s dumb, clean fun at it’s finest, so get into it or get out, you jerk.
Image: The Telegraph