Tag: #ewmen
5 Steps to Convincing Yourself This Guy’s Dirty Fingernails Are From Woodworking
1. Evaluate the outfit. Flannels are a green light for lumberjack fantasies. Doesn’t matter that you’re in the hipster section of Old Navy. Doesn’t matter…
That Guy You Met at an Open Mic Has Strong Opinions About Your Protest Sign
Hey, hey there. It’s good to see you again! Yeah, we met a couple years ago at an open mic! Man, this is a great…
Local Birthday Magician Just the Right Amount of Creepy
A magician never reveals his secrets. But lucky for us, local king of the birthday party magic circuit, Douglas Flaherty, is ready to spill the…
Local Man Doesn’t Know All His Facebook Friends Are Sex Robots
On the surface, it may appear that Fred Burke is just a popular guy, or at least that’s what his friends at the gun club…
Local Groomzilla Devastated About Postponed Wedding After He Booked Only the Band
Local man Andre Vespo is in a state of disbelief after his wedding was postponed, due to the virus. “I had to stop playing my…
🔒 3 Easy Ways to Say “I Actually Have Morals” to Grown Men Who Still Think They’re in a Frat
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“Can You Read?” Asks Woman Whose Dating Bar Has Dropped So Low She Can’t Limbo Under It
The pandemic has brought a lot of things to light: the need for universal healthcare, intelligent and competent leaders, and the fact that there is…
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days: Help Me Find the Boyfriend I Lost in Ikea
Kara Boyari has been searching for her missing boyfriend Jason, that she lost in Ikea, for 10 days now, and things are starting to look…
Inventor of the Phrase “Where’s My Hug?” Granted Nobel Prize for Worst Person
At long last, the eggheads in Sweden have spoken! Retired pharmaceutical representative Tripp Mason, 62, of Stamford, Connecticut will finally be recognized for his achievements…
“It’s Okay, No Man I’ve Ever Known Has Had a Top Sheet Either” Your Mother Consoles You
You haven’t been this excited in months. You went on a few amazing dates with this hot ass dude from Tinder, and since he slept…