Tag: #quarantinethoughts
Oral Surgery and Other Things I Miss From Life Before the Pandemic
Life today sure looks different than life just a few months ago. The ways in which we work, socialize, and view the world around us…
Did Women Create The Pandemic to Punish Men? An “I’ve Been Drinking” Conspiracy Theory
I have spent a lot more time drinking while on the internet since the global lockdown was enforced, and I have unearthed some conspiracy theories…
Medical Professionals Say a Virtual Happy Hour a Day Will Keep Corona Away
Most of us are starving for dates with our friends to the local bar for five-dollar vodka sodas at 5:00 PM on a Tuesday, or…
Feelings of Vulnerability Skyrocket After Targeted Ads Suggest Both Laxatives and Velveeta
You turn on your favorite trash TV show—the perfect episode that will allow you to scroll on social media for the entirety of it. I…
“A Pandemic is Bad, But a Zombie Apocalypse Would Be Way Worse” Insists Highly Intoxicated Roommate
LOS ANGELES- While watching Night of the Living Dead last Wednesday night after drinking an entire bottle of cheap Rosé, thirty-three year old Haley Hendricks…
I Tried to Fill My Quarantine With Self-Care and Productivity, But Then I Remembered I Have a Child
As I crumple into bed late at night, mindlessly scrolling Instagram to keep my finger from the “News” section, I notice that there are two…
Blissfully Unaware Basic Bitch Says She’s Most Thankful for Her Ombre Hair During This Pandemic
My mom bought me a gratitude journal for Christmas. Supes subtle, Mom, THANKS. But a month into quarantine, I’ve decided to actually use it. Because…
Board Games That Will Make You Feel Rich While You’re Unemployed
Ah, the rich. The enviable 1% with their multiple estates and fancy cars. The lucky few who are already fattened enough that they will likely…
Concerned Amazon Cart Stages a Panic Buying Intervention
Hello, How are you coping in quarantine? Just kidding, I already know. This is your Amazon cart here. Sorry, this isn’t about the status of…
Free Tacos and TV?! A Guide to Quarantine Freebies
The world is in a never ending game of hot lava. Hot Lava is what I’m calling quarantine, by the way, go ahead and try…