That Anti-Aging Serum Isn’t Going to Make Up for the Fact That an Entire Generation Hates the Way You Part Your Hair

So, you’re 30 years old. The Y2K days feel like yesterday, but they were really twenty years ago?!

You feel assured about who you are and what you stand for. The low rise jean skirts over leggings look is in your damn past…or so you thought. Yet here we are, two decades later, and all this stuff is coming back. All of it. And you’re all of a sudden…not cool?! You? Us? Not cool?! 

You now have a skincare routine. You drop loads of money at Sephora for serums and creams that will hopefully prevent those crow’s feet from kicking in before you’re fifty. You’re finding out that your beloved skinny jeans and side part are not so fashionable. How did this even happen?

You’ve been rocking that side part ever since you can remember, and now all of Gen Z thinks you’re a grandma for it. But…but…the middle part makes you look…scary. You just can’t rock it. It feels wrong to divide your hair down the middle, just so wrong. It’s like your hair won’t even cooperate at this point. It’s revolting against being in style. But do you really care?

The beauty of being a millennial is that we have a strong distaste for Gen Z. We looked like dorks when we were sixteen years old, and we resent how hot and adult they look on TikTok. We were sweaty-grinding at school dances, while they perform incredibly synchronized, choreographed numbers that put us to shame. 

But would we give up the early 2000’s for this? No way. We will stand proud of the awful clothes we wore, the butterfly hair clips, and Justin Timberlake’s frosted tips. Don’t get me wrong though: absolutely none of this should make a comeback. We are a 90’s and 2000’s upbringing stan, but let’s keep the past in the past. That’s the one thing we have on Gen Z: we know that bringing that style back is a downright sin, an atrocity, and, well, they’ll look pretty silly too. 

Anna Snapp
Author: Anna Snapp
Anna is a Brooklyn-based actor and writer, trying to figure which is more important to her: taking down the men on dating apps who refer to themselves as "humble", or watching enough terrible reality TV to officially lessen her value. Anna believes in progressive politics, Dua Lipa, and mediocre boxes of Sauvignon Blanc.