That Guy You Met at an Open Mic Has Strong Opinions About Your Protest Sign

Hey, hey there. It’s good to see you again! Yeah, we met a couple years ago at an open mic! Man, this is a great protest, right? Like, it’s cool because it’s bringing up a lot of issues that I’ve also had as a white guy, so it’s like two birds one stone, ya know? Like I’ve always hated cops. And the system and stuff. It’s just cool when stuff aligns like this, ya know? 

Anyways, I saw your sign, it’s really great. Can I just…I have some suggestions, if you want. I’m gonna take your silence as a yes. Okay, I’ll follow you around and let you know how you can improve. 

So I was thinking, on the one hand it’s a good sign, because it gets right down to business, Black Lives Matter, right? But then I was like, it kind of blends in with all of the other ones. Like black paint on a cardboard sign is really not doing anything to further the message, ya know? And it definitely doesn’t tell me anything about who you are. Like I feel like I know you pretty well, and you’re a lot more clever than that. So I was thinking, maybe you can include some of yourself into it? Like, you’re a white woman, so maybe saying something about a Karen, or being a Karen, or how you want to talk to the manager of racism or something. That would be funny, and also get more attention. Like I could definitely see a meme page on Instagram picking that up and running with it, ya know? If anyone deserves to go viral, it’s you. Then I’d see you on Insta or Facebook and be like whoa, I know that girl. Sorry, woman. 

You think we’ll get gassed? I just bought goggles and I don’t want ‘em to go to waste. 

Another way to get it to be more memorable is if it rhymed. I could help you work on something if you want. I have a rhyming dictionary back at my place. 

Oh, this black woman is trying to talk to the crowd, I’m gonna start a chant to make sure everyone’s paying attention. 

I was also thinking glitter? 

Another thing you could do, which kind of goes along with the Karen idea is to make it a joke. Like, I was vegan for a few weeks a few years ago and I would stand outside of KFC wearing a chicken costume with a sign that said “What the cluck” and I got a decent amount of honks. So if you ever want me to help you write something, just let me know. 

Or, if you want, I have some extra signs in my backpack here? Let’s see…(opens backpack)…what’s this protest for? Jk I know it’s BLM, that’ll be one of the cardboard ones. Oh, you’re happy with your own? Okay, suit yourself. 

You gotta go? Yeah, for sure I’ll look for you later! You’d be easier to find if your sign stood out more though, Jk! I’m just so happy to be helping.

Lisa Laureta
Author: Lisa Laureta
Aspiring cartoon character Lisa Laureta is a writer, voice actor, animator, comedian and creator of Sock Karen, the problematic white sock puppet. She's worked with some really famous people which means she's special and important. because when you're laughing, you're more bearable.