Top Gift of 2020, Piñatas! And Other Things You Can Beat With a Stick

The bestselling mailable gift of 2020 is the piñata. Online retailers that fill and ship piñatas across the country have seen their sales explode. In a year where birthdays are being spent alone, friends and relatives are scrambling for ideas to make their loved ones feel remembered on their special day: enter the mail-order piñata!

Your friend will think their present is inside, but the real gift is beating their frustrations out with a literal stick. Give them the emotional support you can’t be there to offer through tension release. Peace of mind can be achieved via an inanimate object that they violently* destroy. 

Getting someone their own piñata also eliminates all the problems of communal piñatas. The recipient gets to take all the swings and keep all the candy. They don’t even have to wear the blindfold. Who will know?

But, leave it to America to make a children’s party game about alcohol. Candy remains the standard filling, but alcohol-filled vessels have gained in popularity. Piñatagrams sells candy-filled piñatas with personalized messages starting around $25, but Nipyata offers piñatas in a large assortment of designs filled with 10-15 plastic mini-bottles of booze, candy, a stick, and blindfold. Can a babe get mini wine bottles with a chocolate piñata over here? 

America is finally joining the piñata craze that Mexico has been enjoying for centuries. There are entire piñata districts where you can buy everything you need to fill and hang your piñata, and a chance to see the artistry and blatant disregard for licensed characters up close

Your pinata can look like anything you want. They range from traditional designs like donkeys to anatomically correct naughty piñatas (great for bachelorette parties, divorces, and break-ups…no judgment). There’s even a piñata that looks like the novel coronavirus. Who wouldn’t want to beat the crap out of that?

The popularity of piñatas has opened up a niche market for other products people can work out their frustrations on. A punching bag and a Peloton ride no longer do the job. Look for these aggression relieving start-ups on the next season of Shark Tank: A pizza kit with dough that you have to hit with a rolling pin, some dirty rugs that you beat out on a clothesline, a box of dinner plates to throw against a wall, and super dirty chalkboard erasers to beat together.

*If you’re not into violence and just want to get the stuff out and save the piñata as a keepsake, there’s a little backdoor where you can pull out the candy and booze, so in that way, it’s more like a puppy surprise.

Paulina Combow
Author: Paulina Combow
Paulina is an LA-based comedian and writer from Kentucky with 9 years of club experience. You can find her doing Roast Battles at The Comedy Store, and entertaining senior citizens with Laughter on Call. Her writing has been featured in The Washington Post, Nashville Scene, and Reductress.