There are Karens everywhere now, and I know a lot of Karens myself. My sister is Karen, my sister-in-law is Karen, my aunt is Karen, my best friend is Karen, and also that girl in high school I had a secret crush on…though obviously I am not gay or anything.
Karens are all over the news now getting cancelled. Why are they so famous? My name is Laura and I too am a proud American. Women like me and all those Karens are just standing up for what we know is right, but I’m not getting the exposure. It’s not like there aren’t any famous Lauras, there’s Bush and also that one in Orange is the New Black that turned out to be dating Tom Cruise.
When I went to the bank and was told I did not have enough money to cash a check, of course I asked to speak to the manager. He explained to me that when I don’t have money, the bank can’t give me money. I was like, what are banks for then?
Then, I went to a grocery store where there was a sign suggesting we had to wear masks, but signs are just that: suggestions. When the person at the door told me I could not enter without a mask, I asked to speak to the manager. That person said they were the manager. What kind of manager stands at the door of their store stopping people from shopping there? That makes no sense, and so I just went in anyway. When the police arrived, no one was filming it. I never made even it on social media!
My neighbor Karen – she has her own Tik Tok! I would love to have followers on Tik Tok, you just can’t beat good old American products like that. But as a woman called Laura, there is no chance for me. The game is rigged, I’m telling you, rigged. It’s terrible. Just terrible.