Woman Realizes Source of Her Love for Terrible Men…Thanks, Mom!

Mother knows best right…Well, not when it comes to men!

I remember the first time I heard the song “Que Sera Sera,” a song where a girl goes to her mother to discuss what she can expect from life and love. She was worried about important moments in her life and what was to come. Her mother stated back, what will be will be. What will be will be, indeed. So that means… what?

Though I realized then and there that not all advice is good or helpful, I still listened to my mother and every TV mother of the 90s. And just like Whitney Houston, I was wondering, “How will I know that he really loves me?”

When I was 3, TJ pulled my hair. So naturally I punched him in the gut. This happened to many a young girl, to which we were always told, “He just likes you. That’s how he shows he has a crush.”

Wait a minute, so antagonizing me and possibly causing me emotional and physical pain is what love is? Oh! Now I get it.

My young mind went reeling. Do I have to punch ever single boy that likes me? Physically and metaphorically? The game was afoot. And so was being called into the principal’s office.

Searching for my prince became interesting as I grew older. I searched for the aloof brooding, teasing male, because after all, Mama said, Mama said hey. 

My first Prince made me cry. He was everything society told me I should look for. He was aloof. He didn’t give me that much attention, and when he did he made me feel small, like a dainty princess. That’s the dream! Am I right ladies? Everyone wants to be a princess, you know someone socially oppressed by duty and told to act like a lady all the time, Yay! A feminist ideal!

I was told men can change. Change. I can change him? Wait that’s an option? Is there an app for that?  Some kind of appliance to buy? My mother and TV moms said no. But I said yes. Change is our job! As women, to fix him, to mother and smother him and cry and make him the man of your dreams. Thanks TV moms. I’ll take it from here.

Flash forward to my 30s. Fine…mid 30s. Fine…late 30s. ANYWAY, I had a dream. Michael B Jordan came to my door with thai food, and asked me which true crime documentary we should watch tonight, and a new dream was born! 

Anastasia Washington
Bi Racial Actress, Comedian, Writer, Podcaster, Filmmaker and Curvy Positive model. You can keep with her and all things Anastasia at https://linktr.ee/anastasiawash.