After years of avoiding the truth, local woman Lucille Phillips finally went to her twice-annual dentist appointment—for the first time in “ten-ish years.”
Sources say she personally felt she had let it go “too far,” and even admitted she doesn’t floss “that much” either. Despite her so-called “fear” of getting to the point of actually scheduling the appointment and going, Phillips still didn’t think she had much to worry about.
“My teeth would have fallen out by now if there was actually something wrong,” she remarked.
Unfortunately, she spoke too soon. We don’t know exactly how it went down, but we have been told that when she received the news that she did indeed have eight effing cavities, there were undeniable deep, throaty, cries of sorrow echoing throughout the office building.
“I seriously don’t get how this happened. All the dentists do is scrape your teeth a little bit. What did I do to deserve this?”
Well, let’s take a trip down memory lane. You haven’t gone to the dentist for a teeth cleaning since college, you rarely floss, and after wine nights with the girls, you forget to brush that Merlot off your pearly…yellows before you go to sleep. You were playing with fire, and now you must face the consequences.
According to our colleagues on the scene, the dentist attempted to talk some sense into Lucille—with no luck. She was apparently in too much denial—was too defensive to have a serious chat about dental hygiene. Certainly not the sexiest conversation, but necessary, girl, necessary.
For all of you out there who have been avoiding the dentist: don’t make the mistakes young Lucille did. Brush, floss, and sit through that annoying twenty minutes of teeth cleaning every six months. Life isn’t just about accentuating that butt of yours, you gotta flaunt your smile too!
