A local woman has revealed a groundbreaking conspiracy theory that, if believed by the masses, would likely change how many women between the ages of 22-49 function in everyday life. This woman claims that the word “detox,” is just another word for pooping yourself. The woman chooses to remain anonymous as she believes the truth will endanger her life, claiming the conspiracy “goes all the way to the top.”
She first noticed the word “detox” popping up on everything from teas and cold-pressed juices to supplements, and even crystals sold by the fake psychic who lives in the basement of her apartment building. According to the manufacturer’s marketing teams, as seconded by the psychic, the body will naturally collect “toxins” in its blood and organs. The “toxins” need to be “flushed out” in order for you to be of optimum health and more importantly, for your nails and hair to grow longer.
“I bought a detox juice on Monday, but that just made me poop for about 2 hours. Then, I bought a burrito because I was really hungry! But then I felt like I was full of toxins again, so the next day I drank another detox tea” she claims, “Then, after pooping myself for 4 hours, I was really tired and dehydrated, but felt wide awake at the same time. I told everyone on Facebook that I was living my best life. But the truth is, I haven’t been able to leave the house at all this week.”
The woman claims to have started a message board and has connected with other women in their 20s and early 30s who have also not left the house. Many of them admit they were in fact bringing the laptop into the restroom and posting their comments while on the toilet.
We were able to access this underground message board, which contained a series of post topics, including: “How many toxins are in mashed potatoes?” and “Do I need to buy a charger for my amethyst?,” has since pivoted into topics of conspiracy, with the top post being “Is anyone else just pooping themselves at a higher rate than usual?”
The admin of the message board, BossBabe114, suggests that the other “boss babes” in the group start their own home businesses and be their own bosses by selling their own toxic cleansing shakes like she does. For only $300, they will receive a personal selling guide and 18 cleansing shakes that are guaranteed to rid the body of unwanted toxins. When we reached out to BossBabe14 for their opinion about the conspiracy theory, we saw an editing of bathroom concerned post and our reporting team was subsequently blocked from the message board.
For many women, confusion still surrounds the issues of toxins. Some women claim to never use the bathroom at all, ever. We will keep you updated as this story unfolds.